Read the best car ad ever written: Best of Craigslist 1999 Toyota Corolla.
In case it gets memory holed, I posted some excerpts below:
You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that’s hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further.
The 1999 Toyota Corolla.
. . .
Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn’t give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End.
You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right up.
This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.
. . .
When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn.
. . .
The event is chronicled in the documentary “Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla”
. . .
This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It’s as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It’s as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills.
When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, “It’s a Corolla. It’s fine.”
Let’s face the facts, this car isn’t going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn’t the car you want, it’s the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla.
I could say the same about my wife’s 1995 Honda Civic. That thing survived 15 Lake Champlain Valley Winters (NY and VT sides), rain, snow, ice storms, hail, floods, ferry rides, and a near non-stop drive from Burlington VT to Charleston SC when we made our great escape from the Peoples’ Republic of Vermont. We finally had to say goodbye when after driving thru several deeply ponded stretches of road during the Millennial Rains of 2015, we found that the North Country road salt had been chewing away at the undercarriage, and then the retaining bands on the gas tank went “SPUNG!” We gave the old girl an honorable retirement and replaced her with a new Honda Fit. As long as we don’t drive it thru the surf at the beach, it should last at least as long as the B-52
That is good.
I bought a 94 Corolla. cash for 2200 back in the late 1990’s. it sat outside my house for almost a year before I needed it. ( brother borrowed my truck and “forgot” to fill it)
anyway, wiped the dust off and it fired right up ! I was shocked. it got 34 MPG in town
again, I was shocked. and it even drove okay. but it wasn’t my 4ruuner (1989)
lent to my kid for a while. not good. he hit things with it. still ran well.
sold/gave it to him. he killed it inside of 2 years. I not sure how (?)
but for the 8 years I had it, it ran fine. good MPG. I think I put tires on it once.
not fancy or anything, but it did run when I needed it. never should have let my kid borrow it. it was a great back up car. it was a damn good basic car.
Can’t remember the year, but we had a Corolla in that time frame. Great car. Traded it in for a stick-shift Camry that we still drive (2005). Another great car. We’ve owned 5 Toyotas (Tercel EZ, Corolla, 4x4Truck (’86), Camry, and 4-Runner). All OUTSTANDING vehicles. ALL went well over 150,000 miles with no serious issues.
Dad bought a 1996 brand new Camry from the dealership. He passed away a year later, becoming Mom’s car until she passed in 2018. Now it is my brother’s’back-up. It has just under 200,000 miles and it just might out live us all.
There have been minor issues, but otherwise boringly reliable.
Had a 1990 Camry 5-speed, it had the same attitude.
I learned to drive a stick in a Toyota Corolla. We named that car Ceymore
I did my basics, in a 1952 splt window VW Bug
Nice!
Honorable mention to the CR500 being sold on Facebook Marketplace.
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/55lvu7/bad_ass_honda_2000_cr500_fast_as_fk/
I owned a Corolla, can’t remember the year. 200,000 miles on the clock and ran without issues for years, bullet-proof, cheap to operate, mininal maintenance – in short the perfect transportation appliance.