If you’re a regular reader you know that in 2020, year of the risk-averse Karenific shitstorm, I bought a little dirtbike. My first dirtbike. At an age when I might be thinking about grandkids and 401(k)s, I saddled up and rode off on a young man’s toy.
Being a novice, I promptly sunk it in a pond. Later I slipped on sand and crashed into a tree. I did that in the same year that vast swaths of humanity were afraid to leave their house. I laughed all the way, for what is life if not a challenge… accept it well, live to the fullest, and have the scars to prove it.
Is it any wonder that I never grokked a society that spent a whole year wailing over risk? Goddamn but what it was painful to watch. (Unlike hitting the tree, which was only painful for a second and probably hilarious to watch.)
Anyway, the Yamaha TW200 is more or less the perfect bike for me… but it needs some tweaking. For one thing, the footpegs are scaled for an elf.
I bought bigger footpegs. You can get cheap ones that are probably fine. I blew nearly $80 on Super Stock IMS. I figure I’m a lard ass and need lard ass tolerances in my motorcycle gear. Plus, how often do you say “I got the good stuff” when buying an $80 vehicle part? (By comparison, with my Mega-Dodge, $80 evaporates any time I drive the thing past a mechanic. If I stop at the mechanic’s shop, the specially programmed Chrysler CPU will hack into my wallet and spend next month’s mortgage payment.)
All hail Yamaha’s ultra cheap TW200!
One other observation, real dirt bike pros stand up on the pegs and use their legs like shock absorbers while they tear through the forest like a banshee. I’m old and mellow and have the same fucked up knees every old person has. I park my ass on the seat and just ride slower. It’s an option rarely considered. I ride alone, ride slow, and stop to smell the flowers. I got nuthin’ to prove to nobody. The machine is just a tool. It’s a horse that runs on gasoline and doesn’t eat hay all winter. You can (and should) use a machine (within its tolerances) in ways appropriate to your needs. Other people win races, I carry a fishing pole. I think I’ve chosen well.
Installation was ridiculously easy. Even a monkey like me could do it. It took a year to get around to it and 15 minutes to do the job. All you need is needle nosed plyers and a few minutes rolling in the dirt under your bike.
Yeah, you’ve guessed it. This means what you think it means. I’ve been running around the forest with my little Yamaha (affectionately named Honey Badger) far from the grid and happily so. So far I’ve had better luck that my rides in 2020. Thus there have been fewer interesting stories of me getting a gravitational beatdown in some random rockpile. Have no fear, I’ll eventually do something stupid. There’s plenty of time for me to make colorful mistakes (and when I do, I will duly report the situation).
A.C.
P.S. I’m looking into hunting and have experimented with fishing from the diminutive TW. So far all the rifle scabbard options have been pretty huge. They’ll work but the scale seems odd. Whatever I buy will have to be from the internet so there’s no “in person” options to see with my own eyes. I’ve had “issues” carrying fishing poles too so there’s a second challenge added to the mix. So far I haven’t committed to a particular solution. I’m leaning toward hard sided in case I crunch it in the dirt but who knows? (I’m not ruling out some redneck solution involving sewer pipe? Or “thinking outside the box” and trying to shoot Bambi with an easily carried pistol?) If y’all have clever ideas about carrying squirrel slayers and fish-o-matics on a tiny bike, please add them to the comments.
As far as hunting with the bike, why not do it right and mount a turret from which you could fire a machine gun??? Then get a MA Deuce and run it full auto…
I was thinking more on the lines of the bike in the gloriously-semetic “Delta Force” with Chuck Norris. Including the mini-rockets in front for skunks, and rear mortars for squirrels, situation dependent, of course.
I don’t know what’s worse; that “Delta Force” was one of the worst movies ever or the fact that I clearly remember the flying attack motorcycle from the movie.
“One other observation, real dirt bike pros stand up on the pegs and use their legs like shock absorbers while they tear through the forest like a banshee. I’m old and mellow and have the same fucked up knees every old person has. I park my ass on the seat and just ride slower. It’s an option rarely considered. I ride alone, ride slow, and stop to smell the flowers. I got nuthin’ to prove to nobody. The machine is just a tool. It’s a horse that runs on gasoline and doesn’t eat hay all winter,”
So very well put. Riding a motorcycle or bicycle on unimproved roads requires extra care. Getting there and back SAFELY is a priority.
You could use 4″ or 6″ PVC with a screw on cap to carry your gear, add whatever strap is comfortable. As a bonus you can usually find pieces of acceptable length free at construction site trash piles.
There was an outfit that made kydex scabbards for jeeps. Maybe you could fabricate something like that?
Interesting. Investigating now.
Something like this (http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/81UvKIWk9XL._SL1440_.jpg) might work. Just bungee the rifle down cross-ways!
I’ll add plastic flowers for the best effect.
6 inch PVC pipe is spendy and scarce – apparently just the right size for to bury things in the woods for later. IMHO if you think it’s time to bury your guns it’s actually probably time to use them
It just occurred to me that I’ve at least once sunk my Yamaha in a pond. Can one lose a rifle in a tragic motorcycle accident?
Oneupmanship: “sunk my Yamaha” I dropped mine in a swamp and it caught on fire. Fun times, actually.
Burned in a swamp!?! You da’ man! That level of mayhem deserves a salute!
Referring to my burned-in-a-swamp bike: And then I shipped out for the Western Pacific and forgot about the swamp-water-soaked clothes for a few weeks. Pro-tip: don’t stash your icky clothes in an impermeable plastic bag in the tropics. EWW! Thanks for the salute.
Mark and MN Steel are my tribe! “If y’all have clever ideas about carrying squirrel slayers and fish-o-matics on a tiny bike” my immediate thought was “grenade launcher”.
Brian: your idea is boring but eminently practical and proof that not all of AC’s readers are Neanderthals.
My outback machine is an ’06 Honda Rancher 350 4×4. It has flat racks front and rear that I can tie just about anything on. (working on a dampened AR mount for the front) Wifey’s in town ride is the YS 200 Yardsport. (150cc golfcart with a dumpbed). I rode the bikes in my younger days but at 56, I prefer 4 wheels when tearassin’ in Gods country. Quiet too. I’ve ridden right up on deer in my area. Follow a lot of their paths to get a feel for their movements. If I were a two wheeler, I would grab a couple of wire ties and a kydex or leather soft case for a pole/rifle. Im always about doin some things on the cheap.
I have to admit that it takes a lot more “gumption” to keep a Yamaha TW 200 on two wheels as compared to blundering around with an ATV. If money were no option I’d have bought an ATV. In fact I blogged about how I’d decided on a pricey CanAm Outlander 6×6 but then freaked out about the cost. So far I haven’t broken anything but a taillight so it’s all good.
I’m going to have to look at kydex cases. Never considered it. Not sure how they’re setup. Thanks for the idea.
If I may ask, how much does yon “lard ass” weigh? I clock in at 275 and am half thinking of a used BMW R100 or older, but your little ride seems like it would do the job for a lot less money and hassle. My thing is quick runs to the hardware or vittles emporiums nearby.
Being that this is the internet, I’m svelte and handsome; weighing just the right amount without so much as an ounce of fat… aww hell I can’t even continue. Let’s just say I’m pretty sure the little TW and it’s ridiculously stout little 16 HP engine can haul just about anything. I’ve seen images of people loading it up like a pack mule… but worse… with loads that any self respecting mule would kick you for inflicting on them. In non-USA places it’s literally used as a farm implement. (Same too with the similar Suzuki VanVan.) The little TW just bears weight like a champ. (It has footpegs for 2 up riding for goodness sake.)
I don’t think any single dude will overweigh the beast. Even if you were 300 pounds, if you can swing a ham over the seat, the engine can move the seat. Some common sense applies. I don’t ride two up and you might not want to either. Also, if you’re going to load it with a lot of junk… get good racks. (Which I did.) The real limit of the TW200’s engine relates to speed. It’ll carry a rhino but it won’t carry it fast. Also if you’re doing extremely crazy steep stuff and/or at high altitude you might want to swap the rear sprocket for extra torque. I don’t ride that crazy so it seems to have all the grunt I’ll ever need.
You might be too tall for a TW but I think almost nobody is too hefty for a TW (especially if they’re in no hurry). Don’t shy away from the crude little TW without first sitting on it and seeing how easily it handles the load. You might save yourself a few grand.
Be warned the market for TWs, used and new, clean and battered, is crazy. People who have them… love them. Learn to recognize a deal because if you ever find one, it’ll get snapped up in a minute. Conversely, if you buy one and hate it… provided you didn’t light the thing on fire you can probably sell it used with only a small loss.
So being a guy who has attempted to go hunting while driving a two seat convertible, you need to seriously consider how you are getting bambi back home.
Lets say, just for the sake of argument, that you actually shoot the deer! It even cooperates and collapses someplace not too horrible to dress it, and drag it out to the trail.
Now what?
In my case I drove the little car home, got the SUV and the contractor bags, went back to bag up the deer and toss it in the back of the SUV.
In your case, you will likely have to drive the TW200 back to the homestead, bring the truck around, and drag the deer to where you can get it with the truck. All the while coyotes are free to do their duty on it. In my case it was only a few miles away from the house and more practical transportation.
As far as fishing, eagle claw used to make a series of wonderful backpacker fishing poles that broke down a 7ft spinning rod into 4 21″ segments. a 2″ PVC tube with caps made a great nearly indestructible case!
I’ve seen several photos of people hauling deer (and elk quarters) out with the tiny TW200. I’ve seen three sorts of solutions. Solution type A are things like the nicely engineered but expensive SherpaX. That’s what I’d have if money were no option. Solution type B are a few hardy woodsmen who’ve lashed together a makeshift travois and done the deed with a few poles and some p-cord. This sounds like a PITA but looks super badass in photos. Solution type C are several folks who refused to overthink it and simply lashed a deer across their rear cargo rack (usually a large rack like a beefy CycleRacks product… or DIY Welded). That seems like it wouldn’t work but there are videos on YouTube of dudes with a deer flopping around behind the driver’s butt. Better than walking.
So far it’s just an exploration of options.
6 inches of 1 1/4″ PVC bolted or hose clamped to your rear rack like a boat pole holder, with a tie down, will work for the pole. PVC pipe can be heated and shaped with a heat gun like retarded kydex if you have the patience to attempt your own scabbard.
I’ve already got sewer pipe on my truck (to carry my boat sail). I could have a matched set!
You can hunt with a pistol. I had an uncle that used a revolver for deer hunting. Lever action rifles are also fairly small. There are some back scabbards that will hold them strapped to you instead of the bike. For smaller game you could look at an option like the Henry survival rifle. A .22 that quickly disassembles and the parts fit in the hollow stock.
Hm… a takedown does simplify things. I like the idea of a solution that is also an excuse to buy another rifle!
The Henry AR-7 is a nice little rifle. If you buy one, get an extra mag, as the stock will hold two and the action, which stores inside the stock, will hold another already in the mag well.
They aren’t permanent floaters, but will float long enough for you to do the “Oh Shit” moment and still grab it.
They come with a rail on top so you can mount a scope or a red-dot thingy, but any optics won’t fit into the stock.
The iron sights are pretty decent. Good enough to pot small game at a reasonable range.
Either that, or a Ruger 10/22 takedown, which is a much more robust ‘survival’ rifle and if you already have a 10/22, uses the same darned magazines as the regular one. If’n you get a 10/22 takedown, get the optional backpack that fits the rifle with optics and pretty much all the mags you need in a nice padded backpack with extra room for other stuffs.
Or, well, get both.