Earl was standing on the lawn near the horse (which seemed immune to the chaos). That in itself was a mystery. How do you train a horse to ignore mayhem? Earl pondered horse training involving fireworks until he was distracted by “The 4 Rulez”. They were scrawled with foot high spray paint on the trailer’s wall; not far from where BeckyBat had physically shoved a can of Bush Light literally through the trailer’s sheet metal siding.
It read as follows:
4 Rulez
- Bring beer.
- Everyone who doesn’t get arrested must post bail for those who do.
- Everyone who doesn’t get injured must provide first aid to those who do.
The fourth rule had been obliterated. Nobody would tell him what it had once been.
Legend had it Chigger himself had deliberately violated rule four due to his deep seated conviction that four rules was too many. Somehow, and Earl wasn’t clear on how, this was related to the dishwasher embedded in the trailer’s roof.
Earl knew the BATFE would love a photo of the Rulez. Then again if anyone saw him whip out his cell phone they’d shout “Selfie bitch!” and swarm him. He’d seen it happen just ten minutes ago when BeckyBat started flashing her ample bosom to the crowd. Everyone cheered until Grover sought to preserve the moment. Someone shouted “OPSEC Violation!” and Grover was separated from his phone by a mass of joyous drunk fools. He was dragged off into the forest. Earl had no idea where he was or what ensued. He shivered. The phone met it’s match as a skeet clay. Whether that was a fate worse than Grover’s was another of the day’s many mysteries.
The horse farted. Disgusting! Rest period over. Earl bravely strode back to the party.
