Years ago, I wrote a true story about Ric Ocasek, my theories about motorcycles, and a sex kitten on a motorcycle cruiser that still haunts my dreams.
That series of posts unexpectedly generated more hits than most things I’ve written. Apparently my opinions on the Honda ST1100 (a motorcycle I honestly appreciate) found their way to a Honda ST motorcycle fan board. I may have inflamed some passions. Whoops!
In my defense I included this sentence: “the best feature of the ST1100… the ‘inexplicably hot woman attractor’, is worth whatever you pay for it“. How can anyone be upset I suggested their favorite ride attracts ‘hot women’?
What kind of hot women? Here’s a bit of my description: “this woman wasn’t riding a cruiser, she was astride a custom painted estrogen palace; a two wheeled mechanical erogenous zone. And she wasn’t riding her motorcycle, she was flogging it.” The ST-1100 rode off with a woman who was hotter than a two dollar pistol!
In a fair world, ST-1100 owners would be erecting statues in my honor!
The story began with ruminations on Ric Ocasek:
“Ric Ocasek is an anomaly I’ll never resolve. He genuinely earns the title “rock star” while retaining the excitement of watching paint dry. … In a world where Ozzy Osbourne is an incoherent shambling mound associated with decapitated bats and Janis Joplin’s haunting voice was snuffed out at 27, there’s something profound about Mr. Ocasek’s unusual ability to be the world’s only boring rocker. He’s a human contradiction, an uncool rock star.
Ric died this week (source and hat tip to 357 Magnum). He’s probably in heaven, forever to remain a quandary to the living. A being so impressively uncool as to go round into an alternate dimension where he’s beyond cool. The cool/uncool conundrum was Ric’s super power. I’m going to miss Mr. Ocasek.
In honor of Ric (and with a respectful tip of the hat for awesome super-groovy clearly sexy owners of a Honda ST-1100 or ST-1300) I provide my story here. Happy reading:
- The Ric Ocasek / Honda ST1100 Conundrum: Part 1
- The Ric Ocasek / Honda ST1100 Conundrum: Part 2
- The Ric Ocasek / Honda ST1100 Conundrum: Part 3
- The Ric Ocasek / Honda ST1100 Conundrum: Part 4
- The Ric Ocasek / Honda ST1100 Conundrum: Part 5
- The Ric Ocasek / Honda ST1100 Conundrum: Part 6
- The Ric Ocasek / Honda ST1100 Conundrum: Revisited
- Lets All Pause And Reflect On The Passing Of Ric Ocasek
You know that list of posts is bound to end up on a another forum somewhere, but instead of outraged Honda enthusiasts, you will draw the ire of a bunch SJWs and Feminists with their degrees in Comparative Grievances.
That happened (tongue in cheek) with my post on Monday. It was linked to Daily Pundit along with a note that “because of decades of intense training, I spotted at least seven {!} outrageous violations of decent behavior” and he provided the list of seven. All in good fun of course.
Now my goal is to improve so that I rack up eight “deplorable points” per 1500 word post.
AC, there’s an ST in my garage right now, waiting for cooler weather (the bike’s air conditioning stops working every July and takes 3 months to fix…).
I don’t know about the statue thing (never saw your original post), but I’ve got some bricks around here someplace and I’ll stack up a dozen in your honor.
I am delighted to think that there’s a heap of bricks somewhere in my honor!
BTW: Enjoy that ST. I have a Shadow ACE and the saddlebag situation is always lamer than an ST’s excellent setup.
I rode my Goldwing from Spain to Wales a couple of years ago. Passing immigration control in Calais prior to boarding the train to the UK the young lady in the booth commented that the back seat looked very comfy.
I replied, “Yes, this bike is a babe magnet”. Her laughter brought her supervisor over who joined in the joke (just as well).
Just read the 6 parts, you got it pretty close. The ST’s carbs are the Devil’s Hemorrhoids to balance and keep that way, but when they’re right riding the bike is like sitting on an electric motor – only a change in the hum indicates a velocity difference. With the right tires the mufflers are the only limit to the lean angle, and it could really use a 6th gear. It’s heavy – mine is 710 with a full tank – but it’s got legs: O’town to the pier in Key West down Rte 27 is 377 non-stop (although I will admit missing my mid-’70s R90 with the 9 gallon Krauser tank and the 5 gallon Honda outboard tank on the Craven rack. Long story there about that).
Every time I think about selling it it’s because I just haven’t ridden it in a month. That usually leads to a 200+ mile spin around the block and pledging a sacrifice to the weather gods for another good weekend.
The 1300 solved some of the issues with the 1100, and it’s certainly a technical improvement (no 100K mile Gilmer belt cam drive for one) but I’ve ridden a couple and the 1300 just doesn’t have the same personality. The 1300 is a motorcyle appliance, not that the 1100 doesn’t have a little of that – it is, after all, for riding not wrenching, save the @&$% cam belt – and it begs for the long distances, stop and go around town is a PITA, but the little quirks add character. Ironing all of them out makes the 1300 easier to own but not as much fun.
““Yes, this bike is a babe magnet”. Her laughter…”
I’m doing something wrong. I mouthed “I love you” to a babe through (literally) bullet-proof plexiglas and was called on the carpet due to someone who wasn’t even involved hearing about my innocent flirtation. Maybe I need to start riding a motorcycle again.
“sex kitten on a motorcycle” With my luck, I’d meet a sex badger.
More likely a sex cougar…