Potential New Cat: Tardo

A random stray cat has been hanging around for several weeks. This happens on homesteads. Cats sometimes just disappear and sometimes other cats just show up. Exceptionally stupid ones get stuck in outbuildings. During recent rainstorms “Interloper cat” was stuck in my garage roof for 3 days. Dumbass!

When I finally figured out the fool was stuck in there, I enlisted a kid to help me put up a ladder and drag it down from the rafters. Instead of running away when I grabbed it by the scruff of the neck, it purred and practically climbed into my shirt pocket. I inspected it carefully. It looks youngish, not quite fully grown but close, healthy, well groomed, skinny but not starved, no collar or tag. Possibly it’s someone’s pet that made bad decisions in life to end up at my homestead and it can’t find it’s way home. Or maybe it was born semi-feral in a time of ample food and has lucked out so far?

Winter is coming. The critter’s been hanging around for weeks and it appears to have absolutely no “wildness” or common sense. I doubt the idiot can catch enough mice to feed itself. I nicknamed it “Retarded Dumbass Extreme” while the kid and I fished it out of the roof. (I stand by my assessment.)

Our resident cat has been trying to dissuade it but it’s old and small and has failed. If you want to hold territory you must defeat invaders. Fail at that and you cede control to them. This is true of all organisms from slime mold to humans; with cats (in my opinion) being closer to mold than noble creatures like dogs.

The two cats had a “negotiation” by a campfire. They’ve come to some sort of detente and seem to coexist well enough now. I think they’ll get along. There’s not a lot of bullying or the kind of fighting that causes injuries. (I won’t abide animals really fighting hard on my property. It’s uncool and harshes my mellow. I’ll step in to settle the situation if necessary.)

Also we always have too many mice and my pre-existing cat (who’s name I forget and I just call it “Evil”) isn’t keeping up. It’s getting old and it was never a great mouser anyway.

I made my decision and announced it. I might as well feed the new cat. If “Owlbait” here is still around in a month, it’s officially our cat.

Mrs. Curmudgeon vetoed my names; “Interloper Cat”, “Retarded Dumbass Extreme”, and “Owlbait” were all rejected. She rechristened it “Tardo” which does seem appropriate. “Tardo” and our other cat “Evil” wound up eating side by side and not fighting. That’s a good sign.

In a month, if it’s still here, it goes to the vet for the standard “feral cat to outdoor mouser/pet” upgrade pack. Basically I’ll spring for whatever shots it needs and neutering.

The kids and I watched the new cat adjust while I outlined the vet schedule. Kids need to learn by example what’s entailed with adopting various critters. Before the kids left I had to add a bit of wisdom:

“When someone gives you free food and a place to stay, even if they do it out of kindness as I’m doing right now, sooner or later they’ll cut your balls off. Remember that.”

I hope the kids remember what I said; they’ll need that wisdom in life. Tardo just purred.