October Surprise Roundup

[This post (like many) was written out of time sync. If all goes well, it will hit the ‘net with automagic scheduling while I’m nowhere near the grid. If something happened that is missing from my post (invaders from Mars?), it’s probably due to the time sync.]

It’s fall of an even numbered year. Therefore, electioneering fluffery is flooding the nation. It’s only a few days (when this post goes live) before the “most important mid-terms of human existence”, which is how virtually all elections are discussed now.

Isn’t it annoying how every election is a shitfest of epic importance? Want elections that aren’t so awful? The first step is not asking/expecting every damn thing to emanate from the power of DC. But I’m preachin’ to the choir here. Y’all know that.

The thing about the stupid season, is that evil folks scheme to rile up otherwise peaceful Americans. Peaceful people don’t vote nearly so “vociferously” as ones who’ve had a hornet shoved up their ass. This is bad, masses of upset people are always risky. So far it hasn’t gone too far off the rails and that’s why I’m writing now.

I’m going to offer a few things to be thankful for. (Remember, I’m writing this long before the posting so news in this post is somewhat conjecture.) Here goes:

So far most of the October surprises haven’t been surprising but they also haven’t been fatal. I’m thankful for that. Every shitstorm that doesn’t happen (or at least doesn’t go nuclear) is a good thing. Seriously, be thankful the shit hasn’t hit the fan… more.

• One October surprise was the last ditch effort to derail Brett Kavanaugh’s nomination to the Supreme court. It could have been worse. Even for folks who would’ve preferred someone else, at least we can all be happy the vote came and went and it’s over. Sure it was ugly. Of course, it was awful. But, now it’s over.
  • The system worked (barely). Despite screaming and shouting and bad behavior, the entire process happened; from start to vote. This is actually something the government is supposed to be doing. It got done! It’s not quite wise governance but it’s not yet subjugation by mob rule.
  • Kavinaugh’s reputation got reamed and I don’t think he deserved such treatment; but it didn’t finish him. Hopefully it’ll remain a challenge he’s overcome and not something that took him apart. (I’m sure he’ll have some interesting private discussions with Clarence Thomas). He could have been dropped in mid-stream, bailed out, or been hit by a truck. It didn’t happen. We are spared the “what might have been” situation. Kavanaugh didn’t become a verb like “Borked”.
  • As for Ford, the least unserious of his accusers, she’s sitting on a GoFundMe of over $600,000. If you really think she was groped 30 years ago that’s got to help somewhat. I think she’s lying but that’s my bias. Either way half a mil ‘aint chump change… and none of it is taxpayer’s dollars.

• Depending on your point of view the “bomber” was either an October surprise or the timing is happenstance. What is certain for all sides is that he was/is an incompetent loon. All the details aren’t out but Cesar Sayoc was either by design or not, really bad at whatever he thought he was doing. The Unibomber he ‘aint. I’m grateful for that! The press will blame everything Sayoc ever did, including his choice in breakfast cereal, on Trump, but I don’t care about that. My main joy is that nobody died.

• This isn’t an “October Surprise” thing but it’s probably the best gift of the season. I’m very happy Cesar Sayoc didn’t turn into another of those disturbing “grassy knoll” things. I’m sick of shadowy “we’ll never know the truth” situations where the official story is full of holes and I’m told to suck it up and believe some bullshit “narrative” which doesn’t pass the smell test. Sayoc appears to be a garden variety insane dumbass loser. So far (!) he isn’t known to be in the employ of the FBI, sleeping with a Senator, living in Hillary Clinton’s basement, in possession of a briefcase with an unexplained huge wad of cash, or somehow messing with Congressional laptops! What a relief!!!! Consider how many weird bullshit flaky situations have gone down lately.
  • On August 3rd, 2018, authorities found eleven severely mistreated children and one a dead child (Abdul-Ghani Wahhaj) in what can only be considered a domestically located terrorist training situation or possibly a cult. It sounds like a hellhole worse than anything Edgar Allen Poe imagined. On August 14th, the compound was dozed. I’m not clear who did the destroying or why, but it damn well stinks. You don’t doze a murder scene eleven days after the discovery! There’s no good reason to do that but lots of bad reasons to do it. What kind of evidence was buried? Why? Who has the authority to doze a murder scene? All I know is that I’m happy that Cesar Sayoc’s stupid van wasn’t crushed the day it was found.
  • On October 1st, 2017, Stephen Paddock killed 59 people in broad daylight in Vegas and we still don’t know shit about it. I’ve never seen so much as footage of the guy walking into a casino elevator. I’m happy Sayoc didn’t generate conflicting reports of laptops without hard drives or a big pile of guns without a clear count of fired cases, etc…
  • On January 26, 2016, Robert LaVoy Finicum was shot during the Malheur Wildlife Refuge situation/occupation and the story went from weird to Tinfoil Hat. Half the people there were FBI “informants”. To their credit, the Oregon State Troopers didn’t play ball and that’s probably why it came to light that Fincum’s orbit was swarming with agents. I’m happy Sayoc wasn’t having dinner with two FBI agents an hour before he delivered (?) his chickenshit pretend bombs.

• The Caravan, hasn’t (yet!), led to any deaths.
  • The Caravan is probably the second most predictable of the October surprises after the last minute Kavanaugh accusation. However, I’m surprised that it’s got more actors involved and well… they seem to be unclear about geography. But it’s not violent yet… and that’s good.
  • First lets have a belly laugh at it all.
    • “We’re going to gather en masse in Honduras. Then we’ll march through Guatemala. After that we’ll cross all of Mexico. And when we get to the third country, we’ll all simultaneously seek asylum in Texas because our feet are tired from walking 1,200 miles. We think it’s totally normal to cross two countries and ‘flee’ into a third and we had no idea this was timed to synchronize with a divisive election in America. None of this was planned at all. We promise.”
    • Geography matters. In what universe does one cross two nations to get to a third and call that “asylum”. Suppose I desperately, urgently, want to get the fuck out of Florida (a reasonable supposition!). Do I cross into Alabama, then Mississippi, then cross all of Louisiana… and then show up in Texas waving a Florida state flag and claim I’ve “fled” Miami?
    • Would I take pictures of myself burning the Texas flag on the way?
  • There are many countless historic situations where a shitload of people have gathered together in a group and stormed the borders of another nation. Sometimes they destroy the host nation. (4th century Rome is an example.) Other times they’re killed at the gates. Regardless, it rarely ends well. Luckily the “Caravan” is all theater so far. For that, I’m thankful.