Whenever someone in the media talks about Facebook like it’s important I laugh. I don’t know what’s funnier, that media drones say such things or that they actually believe it. There is nothing under heaven that’s “too big to fail” and Facebook is a fart in a hurricane compared to most endeavors.
So take heart. This isn’t a big deal. Everyone already knew Facebook was a snitch factory; so this moment was preordained. Facebook’s popularity will come and go with a long term impact similar to other silly fads. Disco, zoot suits, the XFL, and Zima come to mind. Remember whenever you start to overthink social media, people once made a sport of stuffing themselves in phone booths. More recently they evolved from dropping ice buckets on their head to eating Tide pods and snorting condoms.
See the forest for the trees and laugh at social media. That’s the joke I want to share with the world. Therefore I present a Curmudgeonly Poem:
Shit That’s Gone, a Poem by Adaptive Curmudgeon
Blockbuster, Studebaker, Standard Fucking Oil.
Sears, Broadcast News, On the Farms we Toil.
Detroit’s Toast, Atari’s Gone, Gros Michel Banana,
Roman Empire, Russian Commie, An End To Rule Britannia!
Votes matter. Who knew? The boss now has a pair!
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Pervy sneaks left the bushes; where creeps like that belong
So Facebook’s doomed, its goose is cooked, and soon it will be gone.
Copyright 2018 all rights reserved by A.C. and his dog.
Thanks for listening, you’ve been a wonderful audience. I’ve got t-shirts for sale in the lobby and a tipjar on the sidebar. I’m also open for bookings at weddings and parties where I play lead bagpipe in the heavy metal band “OPSEC Dog and the Deplorables”.
Have a great night. Drive safe. Peace out!
Could you elaborate on your statement that Facebook is basically small potatoes compared to most endeavors? I may be totally misunderstanding your statement but the CEO doesn’t get to be a billionaire without a substantial company under him.
Obviously I indulged in poetic license but I wanted to make a point that hinges on the deeper meaning of “substantial”. As in “substance”. Facebook is uniquely and impressively lacking in substance.
Facebook is singularly without physical footprint. It’s prone to the whims of fashion. Fashions change (hence the mention of the ridiculous zoot suit.) It could go “off line” tomorrow and it would be gone completely. Poof!
That’s part of what I was getting at. Lacking physicality it doesn’t have a lot of impact on the physical world.
The other part is that it seems like a big deal but only because we’re mentally close to the subject. It feels like Facebook is huge and will therefore last forever but Facebook is younger than a used Subaru and many things which seem permanent are gone (some rather quickly). The bananas I ate as a kid are functionally extinct. The sun never set on the British empire… until it did. I can’t buy a model 2018 Studebaker.
And if Facebook vanished… so what? Zombie apocalypse? Riots in the streets? Starvation and war? I propose almost nothing would change. At first it would seem like a big deal. Millions would be sad but after a period of staring at suddenly unfulfilling smartphones folks would move on.
It’s very impressive that Zuckerberg made a giant pile of money but it’s not substantive to me. It’s not my money. It’s substantive to Zuckerberg alone. He earned it and should enjoy it. He can buy a solid gold house and fill it with Lamborghinis. The world is filled with very rich people who don’t have much impact on the real world and that’s OK.
I hate to break this to you, but Mr. Zuckerberg, along with Mr. Schmidt and Mr. Gates and Mr. Ballmer and Mr. Cook and whatever foul person runs Twitter ALL have a lot of impact on the real world through their conspiracy with the FedPig swill. That merry band of treasonous misfits provides whatever the FedPigs want, without warrants. And even if YOU do not personally use any of their garbage, if any of your friends or acquaintances do use same and put any info about you on there, then it has been hoovered and delivered. The hearings were nothing but a dog and pony show for this fall’s campaigns. The government has the ability to jail every one of those bastards for treason, but will not do so. Each of their companies gets much dinero from Uncle Shithead. As do this country’s colleges and universities. As a result, they are legally bound to honor the Constitution, including its amendments. Not one of those filthy God damned bastards can be bothered to do so. And the DoJ has no intent of ever prosecuting them for their treason.
Correct. How many of us used IRC, IRQ, AOL Chat, AIM Messenger, Yahoo Chat, Yahoo Messenger, what about Angelfire or Geocities? How many of us used AOL Dialup?
“Dial what?”, you say.
In internet years Facebook’s run has been impressive, but it will eventually go away as well. The hardware infrastructure will be sold off as ‘refurbished’ equipment on a liquidation website somewhere, the buyers unaware they are buying a trinket of ‘history’.
To put it all in perspective, go read Ecclesiastes 1, particularly verse 14; timeless.
Is that the principal bagpipe, or the heavy metal variety?
Diesel powered.
Funny you should mention Blockbuster in your poem. I happen to be living in the same city as the last Blockbuster in America.
There’s only one? I thought there were a few. Much like Radio Shack. Does it do any business?
This is Anchorage Alaska. Of course it does business.
Anchorage? Makes sense now.
I think we have a Radio Shack or two as well.