Like a fly orbiting a campfire I’m so very good at voicing unpopular opinions! What the hell is wrong with me? I wisely tiptoed around politics for a couple of months. Then on a whim I tossed accumulated mellowness in the trash when invented Ralph the hapless, hopeless, powerless, pathetic hypothetical nobody. It was my vaguely optimistic shot at theorizing most government people aren’t out to subvert life, liberty, and the American way. I’m lousy at my intended role as a beam of sunshine and I (inadvertently) lit a fuse.
I’m getting discussions of German Nazi leader Adolf Eichmann in The Banality of Evil, the Devil’s advice in The Screwtape Letters, and Mr. Kurtzmann in the (rather dark) film Brazil. Holy shit. Nobody mentioned lovable barfly Cliff Claven, Ralph’s daughter’s tour with a Scorpion’s Tribute Band, or everyone’s favorite bacon eating libertarian. Target missed!
This leads me to the following conclusions:
- A nation pissed off enough to hate Ralph explains the election perfectly. It’s precisely why Captain Hairball took out a dozen suit wearing Republi-drones in Thunderdome and then went “Yuge”. A nation that thinks Ralph is evil is not a place where the Screeching Harpy / Clinton Mark II is going to get traction. The situation was not merely ripe for change but folks were desperate for release.
- I stray from squirrels at my own risk.
- This is a great time to chill out and listen to bluegrass from the Squirrel Hunters.
Therefore, as a distraction from my ineptitude, I present The Squirrel Hunters!
To be clear, the bluegrass song is Squirrel Hunters, not the band.
My bad. The fact that it’s an instrumental led me astray. I needed some lyrics about shootin’ squirrels to set my mind straight.
Well…..you are getting warmer ! At least we are back to hunting squirrels. I love bluegrass and it did get my toes a tapping.
In other news/ There was a special election in Kansas yesterday. Cheeto hair and the Republicans got a win. Though it was somewhat close. Part of the reason Democrats lost according to CNN was the “National Democratic Party committees also spent nothing on Thompson’s behalf despite the closeness of the race in its final week “.
What CNN somehow didn’t mention was the tie in . No funds were spent because, you know, it was in Deplorable Kansas. Who needs them anyway.
Anyway, thanks for the squirrel tie in even if only musically.
The letter is in the mail.
Greetings from the President and Nation of the Elected Timocratic Republic of America
You have reached your 18th birthday. As such, you are eligible to be conscripted into the military of the Republic. Under the law, the government is required to inform you of your choices.
1. You may do nothing. If you so choose, the citizenship rolls will be amended to place you on suspended status. This means that you will not be entitled to vote in elections for public office, or to run for election to public office. You are also denied any government funded job training, educational assistance or social services. You will further be prohibited from being selected or any of the “reserved” jobs;
police, fire, weapons manufacture, teaching certain school courses, some few others; such as these:
You are not entitled to vote, or be a recipient of any social program.
There will be no other negative effects from a failure to serve. Your taxes will remain the same. Your standing in a court of law will remain the same as that of any citizen, veteran or not. You will not be considered a full citizen. You must earn this.
2. You may write, call, or visit your nearest Military recruitment center to enlist.
In such a case, and only after successful completion of training, plus the mandatory ten years reserve or militia service, or twenty-five years if you are selected for, and elect to change over to, active status, the above constraints shall be lifted.
Oversight of all services is by representatives who have served and been
discharged through loss of personal parts of themselves in honorable service.
If you are handicapped in any way, but able to mentally understand what I had said, you may serve also.
If you are of another sexual orientation, other then hetero, you also may serve.
We do not discriminate based on race, physical condition or gender (though we do say there is only two of those).
We Do discriminate by religion by the empirical method.
We do not tolerate personel, who by any mores, are detrimental to the nation as a whole or by unit. It is possible that one day you shall represent more than you, in future, by the choices you make now.
Choose well.
Signed,
Donald J. Trump
President of the Nation of the Elected Timocratic Republic of America
(Yes, it’s a joke!)
We shall “Raise” the Curmudgeon high in the public esteem so he drops his day job and what his talent inspires him to do; thus, out of that fibrillating grey mass of mind comes the tales of activist lesbian squirrels!
(good one huh?)
Speaking as a man with a “fibrillating grey mass of mind” it’s probably best if I am occupied writing about squirrels. The alternative is whatever the hell else I would do if I had spare time; and that can’t be good. The world doesn’t need some deplorable hick building tractor powered particle accelerators in his garage.
P.S. Typo repaired as noted. We wouldn’t want to upset Pedantic Man or Edna.
You could end up like this bear.
Start at the beginning of the archive. It’s addictive as hell.
http://www.the-whiteboard.com/index.html
I love that comic.