Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels!
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Monthly Archives: September 2016
Google Wrote A Hillary Joke For Me
There is a t-shirt I’d seen. It has the following happy message: There is no hope. It’s fucked. Everything is ruined. All is lost. We’re doomed. Nothing can save us. Whatever is done will fail. There’s only misery left. We’re … Continue reading
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Lesbian Squirrels: I Seem To Have Found A Gauntlet Lying On The Ground
OK fine, you win! Enough people hit my tip jar that I cannot avoid the obvious: The people have spoken and they demand lesbian squirrels! Please be patient, there’s going to be a small delay while I fold, spindle, and … Continue reading
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Curse Of The Lesbian Squirrels
I was pleased with last week’s series of posts. I managed to make jokes about racism, exploding skunks, and Walmart. The world needs bullshit that doesn’t run for office and I aim to please. Also any time you type the … Continue reading
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Bear Encounter: Part 7: A Sudden But Inevitable Betrayal
“Bear lives matter! Bear lives matter! Bear lives matter!” Bart was so infuriated with racist dogs and racist eagles and all the unfair cretins who took the food that was his because he wanted it that he was seeing red. … Continue reading
Bear Encounter: Part 6
The Curmudgeon eased the rifle up and over the log. He didn’t know if bears got rabies or what but whatever that bear was doing was unnatural. Also, he couldn’t figure out what was going on with the skunk at … Continue reading
Bear Encounter: Part 5
Edward waited for the human to do something. What was taking so long? Finally, the Curmudgeon reached into his pack and withdrew one of those small computational devices humans stare at whenever they get confused. Edward couldn’t make heads or … Continue reading
Bear Encounter: Part 4
After seeing the scary lawnmower, Bart needed to get his courage up again. Unlike Bart, Sammy was always ready for a fight but Bart had full intention outliving Sammy by years and years.Bart wasn’t alone in this. Throughout the forest most woodland creatures … Continue reading
Bear Encounter: Part 3
Sammy skunk had decided that the only reason a white dog would bark at a black bear was racism. The obvious solution to such an unforgiveable sin was, in Sammy’s eyes, to ‘stink ‘em up!’ Edward eagle tried to defuse … Continue reading
Bear Encounter: Part 2
While Bart the bear merely complained about the cruelty of the universe, Sammy the skunk ranted. “Dogs are pussies! You just stink them and then they run away. If you’re lucky you get the human too. Teach ‘em a lesson!” … Continue reading
Bear Encounter: Part 1
Bart the bear was pissed off. It had started out as a fabulous day but in midmorning the shit hit the fan. Now he was digging through a stump eating grubs instead of the delicious apples a bear like him … Continue reading