“It was a bear!”
Mrs. Curmudgeon was telling me the story of a bear that appeared in our backyard. The Cliffs Notes version is that the dog needed to go out to pee and when Mrs. Curmudgeon took the dog out (on a leash) she got a little closer to a bear than she’d have liked.
It sounds like the dog knew the bear was there but Mrs. Curmudgeon didn’t. It also sounds like the dog was ready to throw down. Mrs. Curmudgeon had to hold tight to the leash and dig in her heels lest she wind up dragged into a melee that surely would have been epic. Of course bears are not idiots. This one stood up, assessed the situation, and hauled ass for the forest.
In my next post I’m going to tell you what really happened.
A little while back I lived in an area rural enough that the mailboxes were re-numbered during our residency. One day, after picking up the mail, I was returning up our long driveway when a flurry of honking broke out behind me. I turned and saw some imbecile in a large SUV (the kind that are named after geographic features, because they can be seen from space) leaning on his horn and having a total meltdown because something was blocking the road.
What was blocking the road was a small black bear, ambling downhill in front of the idiot in a leisurely fashion. If the bear deigned to notice the honking, I failed to detect any sign of it. Sadly, the bear also declined to turn the moron into bear-chow.
Pity.
“This one stood up, assessed the situation, and hauled ass for the forest.”
Knew a guy who challenged a bear in camp by poking it with a stick; he woulda been 60 last month. Kidding. The bear effortlessly swatted the large tree branch out of Mr. Top Predator’s hands and ambled away. He (the human) said he suddenly felt extremely small and defenseless and rather stupid.
I’m glad Mrs. AC was unscathed. I presume, as you don’t have a “Wife Wanted” ad posted here.
waiting for this one, it will be epic