I cringe in terror as I post this:
The link which, in case you’re a total moron and haven’t figured it out yet, is satire. It was sent to me by a good friend. It led to this conversation:
Friend: “Hey A.C. I sent you a link. You’ve totally got to post it.”
Me: “Sure, I’m always up for…” click click click… “ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!?”
Friend: “It’s hilarious.”
Me: “It’s got a pony. Do you have any idea how uptight the pony people are? I’ll be getting death threats in glittery font.”
Friend: “Oh c’mon.”
Me: “This is 2016, if I do anything other than genuflect at women in military combat I’m going to have to bake a gay wedding cake or something.”
Friend: “But it’s satire.”
Me: “Hillary Clinton will drone strike my server. The drone will probably be painted pink.”
Friend: “Satire.”
Me: “Fine, but if I get a bunch of nasty comments from people of indiscriminate gender who couldn’t pass boot camp but spend hours bitching about it…”
Friend: “Wimp.”
Me: “Sigh… here goes.”
She’s probably a “manly” “womyn”. And don’t be surprised if they DO have a pony for her at Fort Benning. And a groom to take care of it. After all, this IS today’s “Army”…
You monster!
But, man, Death Sparkle is a hell of a name for a pony! I think I’m going to nickname one of my horses that (I have one in mind already).
Oh, man, yer server’s gonna crash. Summa those folks have no sense of humor.
CIS SHITLORD! Or something.
Honestly don’t understand any of their incoherent bullshit.
Boy, now you’ve gone and done it. It was nice knowin’ ya.
Your ass is grass and the ponies (and the pony gals) are going to be muching on it …
I foresee a hashtag campaign with you as the hate figure sometime in your IMMEDIATE future. Pah! Having a job, friends and a life is over rated anyway …
The awesome part is I wouldn’t even be aware of a hashtag campaign. I mean what’s that for? Twitterbook or Facepage or some shit? I could be hated with a white hot loathing right now and be missing the fun.
Yeah, I hate it when I’m hated and don’t know. I actually LIKE bathing in the tears of the butthurt but if I’m missing out on it, that’s … hurtful! >};o(
Cisnormative homophobic racist misogynism! And other neologisms I’d have to look up to make this longer and funnier! You, sir, are just completely problematic.
Try mansplaining privileged cis-hetero-normative misogynstic rape-apologist shitlord
I have found that I can’t read Duffle Blog every day. If I do I can hurt myself laughing too hard.