Earth Day (Belated): Part I

Earth day was last week. I didn’t notice. It wasn’t always like that.

I used like Earth Day. I’d celebrate it every year.

I love the earth. I spend most of my time there. There’s nothing more fun that wandering around the forest getting plenty of earth in the cleats of my boots. So a day to celebrate the earth is a no brainer. What’s not to like?

Well… it’s the politics. There’s always politics.

I knew it was messy from the start. Earth Day was conceived in a dark room smelling of choom and student loans in an unholy alliance of Malthusian misfits and political fluffers so far left they’d make Trotsky look mellow. They decided to create Kwanzaa’s retarded half brother to beg for more Federal Regulation. It was exactly like what you’re picturing in your head.

Imagine celebrating a new Cabinet post. Really? Is that’s “the Earth” is all about? Only the truly, deeply, irretrievably uncool could create an event to beg for the the iron bonds of the EPA. “Please please please regulate my lawnmower’s exhaust. Gaia, the great being which encompasses us all, needs to be managed by the State. Managed good and hard. Hit me again master.”

Plus the whole thing is associated with a guy who composted his girlfriend in a closet. That’s pretty icky.

Foolishly, I persisted in “supporting” the “holiday”. Like a used car with questionable stains in the back seat that will still get you where you need to go; I held my nose and took the ride.

Tomorrow I’ll tell you about my last Earth Day campout…