I haven’t posted much lately. Mother Nature is trying to kick my ass.
I will post more when nature is less focused on reducing me and everyone in my house to a series of ice sculptures surrounded by a collapsed roof heaped on a bunch of frozen pipes. Also, to our Canadian friends further to the north… I can only assume you’re all dead. Sorry eh.
Excuse me while I suit up to go find the truck. It was visible when I parked it.
“I’m just going outside. I may be a while.”
Captain Oates said that in March. It’s only January! We’re all doomed.
Not everyone in Canada is quite dead, although all the bitching from Toronto might make it sound otherwise. It’s just a real winter for a change….
Hope you are coping satisfactorily.
Not all dead, just the ones out East,eh. We’re made of sturdier stuff out west.
Given the amount of whiteouts between below-zero ice fogs/roadcrap here…..I have to agree. Doomed.
Dear Canadian Friends,
There are two things we would like from you in steady supply: whiskey and music.
Notice how blasts of arctic air are not on the list? Keep it. We don’t want it.
If you continue to send your arctic air we will deduct the cost of heating it from our bill for the whiskey. Oh, and we’ll need more whiskey.
Thank you for your prompt consideration.
Just think of it as a belated Christmas present.
We send the maple syrup in April, after this spring’s “sugaring off”.
And, oh yeah…you can keep Bieber too. Please ?
John in Toronto
Bieber? Is he the dude that looks like he’s six and got busted for drag racing? I dimly think I heard something about him throwing eggs at his neighbor’s house. Didn’t that require a SWAT team response and cause apparently a zillion dollars worth of damage (presumably because his neighbor’s house is made of crystal and dreams).
If that’s the kid I’m thinking of, I’m seeing him as less a menace than a Rorschach test for just how far the stick is up the average American’s ass.
Bieber’s that kid who also performs in drag under the name “Miley Cyrus”.
Alright, I’m falling behind and had to do research. I live under a rock and had no idea who all these fucknuts are. I thought “Miley Cyrus” was a pun based on the Country Music singer who inflicted “Achy Breaky Heart” on me some years ago. The bastard! That song was to music what Tab was to soda.
Now I’ve looked on wikipedia and discovered that the name “Hanna Montana” was not a joke and it somehow led to a woman who… you’re right… looks just like Justin Bieber. The horror!
I cannot unlearn what I have seen and I’ve foolishly dumped that knowledge in my skull. This unwise use of limited resources is bad karma.
Also, for no particular reason, I’m hereby stating that I don’t know (or want to know) anything more about Mr. Beiber but I disagree with most of the media reportage. Drag racing is not “a cry for help” it’s “a fun thing to do with loud machines”. If I were a millionaire teenager with a Lamborghini I’d damn well race it like James Dean on crack. Heck if I had stodgy neighbors I’d whip eggs at ’em. (We can thank providence that I have neither a hot car nor neighbors.) Aside from the dumbass look on his face, he seems like a normal youth. (Possibly one with more money than brains but who am I to rain on his parade?) Also, who’s silly enough to “race” in a city? That’s why God created Nevada.
Sorry, Bieber is Canadian to a fault and you will have to accept him as one of you. Sure, we’ll be happy to incarcerate him for some short amount of time so as to give a stern warning to our own screwed-up kids with no respect for the law or social customs, but do you really want him down here? He’s like a toddler left unsupervised for a moment compared to how badly we can screw up a child star’s life in this country.
They say he might have had some drugs in his system. River Phoenix had so many drugs in his system, at a public place, yet seemed so perfectly normal that it was a surprise to everybody when he finally collapsed and could not be revived. Brad Renfro,
Anissa Jones, Bobby Driscoll, Corey Haim, we’ve got dead child stars from here to breakfast. Bieber just isn’t in the same league, being all living and such.
Then there’s the reports he possibly drove his lambo at speeds up to 60mph in that drag race. Boy, howdy, a whopping 60mph in a Lamborghini? That’s sort of like getting busted for sipping malt duck from a hip flask in a crack house.
Sorry, his exploits are not even in the same league, and he should be returned home before he hurts himself trying to keep up.
– Max
Whiskey and bacon, lots of bacon.
I might/maybe use a whole 3 cords this year. All the complaining is from the east, here its…meh..