Deobfuscation: Ground Zero Mosque

Not only is Big Brother watching, but he's got one hell of a moustache.

When Orwell coined the term Newspeak the depressing bastard was really on to something. All my life people have said things when they mean the opposite and claimed to believe things which are clearly not true. Perhaps it came about with the intellectual dysfunction that was (and remains) “political correctness”? Perhaps people have been full of shit since the first caveman lied about who’s cave he was in last night and why the kid next door looks different from his dad.

Regardless, it’s bullshit and I can’t digest it. Cloaking bullshit with a layer of defensive verbiage neither makes it true nor palatable. The time has come to say a few non-bullshit words about the Ground Zero Mosque.

First of all, the people who destroyed the Twin Towers were not innocent victims of a backward society. Nor were they some sort of perverse reflection on the things that America has done which piss people off. They were evil. They were murderers. 9/11 was a travesty perpetrated by people who were evil and knew perfectly well what they were doing. I think we can all agree on that.

The place where this happened is called Ground Zero. Some folks think it’s hallowed ground. I don’t but I have respect for those who do. That’s because I’m a human being and smarter than a houseplant. Everyone knows why Ground Zero isn’t the same as a similar cityscape in in LA or Toronto. People who claim they don’t are lying.

I also understand perfectly well why one would not want a Mosque near Ground Zero. Various people have attempted to talk around the obvious but a Mosque at the site where many innocent people are murdered by evil Islamic terrorists is about as inappropriate as you can get.

You say to-mah-toe. I say dickhead.

The swine who wants to build a Mosque at Ground Zero is not attempting to “reach out”, “spark a dialogue”, promote a “religion of peace”, or anything like that. He’s a dickhead. He picked that location among all locations on planet earth because he’s fucking with us. You know it. I know it. The family dog knows it. And yes, the president and mayor of NYC know it.

Now here’s the part where it gets tougher because it’s easy to claim an ideal and hard to live up to it. The dickhead who wants to build a Mosque at Ground Zero for the purpose of fucking with us owns the land to do it. In America we have freedom of religion and also (and just as importantly) private property. He could have built a Denny’s. Instead he decided to build the one structure which would piss off any sane American. Lot’s of folks like to piss off Americans but this guy figured out how to do it in spades. That’s why he’s more than a dickhead and gets an upgrade to manipulative dickhead.

We as a society could theoretically handle this with dignity and grace. Possibly by continuing to be the most awesome nation on earth while our most despised enemies continue sinking into self propagated cesspools of theocratic misery. Karma’s a bitch and I don’t need to lose sleep over cultures who were the cutting edge of human knowledge a thousand years ago and now can’t make anything more complex than olive oil and hatred. Just let it go. How cool would that be? Alas we’re Americans and are easily baited. The country that made up the word “freedom fries” can’t ignore dickheads so we’re acting like toddlers.

Part of freedom is putting up with manipulative dickheads who do things which are legal but wrong. Intellectually we all know this. Some of us haven’t internalized the idea. I think clarity would help. In a sane world, his-Obamaness could have said the same thing just as crudely. I would have been beautiful! Obama could have called a press conference where he swiveled his perfectly managed persona at the camera and said the truth. “The obnoxious jackoff who wants to build a mosque at Ground Zero is such a raging dickhead that I dislike the very thought of him. Everyone everywhere knows that what he’s doing is so utterly reprehensible that it’s intentional. Nobody could accidentally rise to such a level of unmitigated asshole. I’d like to have him drawn and quartered, fed to sharks, and drop a bomb on what’s left. But it’s not illegal to build a mosque on your own land. Since I’m the president of a civilized nation and not a six year old I’m just going to have to let it go. And that’s that.” See how refreshing it could be? Truth! A hundred word explanation that handles the situation and doesn’t simper away from the obvious. Plus there would be nothing more delightful than the President of the United States calling a guy a dickhead. Alas Obama (like most politicians) couldn’t speak a plain truth if you beat him with a two by four and asked if it hurt.

Obama isn’t alone. Just about everyone else wet themselves too. But it’s still three simple and obvious facts

1. Dickheads exist.
2. In America we don’t throw people into a woodchipper for being a dickhead even when they richly deserve it. That luxury is reserved for action movies, pulp fiction, tinpot dictators, and the truly evil like Stalin or Mao. We’re cooler than that.
3. Life is unfair that way.

Lacking that simple level of discourse, the chattering hordes on both sides of the fence (especially some folks with an R in their title who should know better) will continue to chew on it until another travesty takes over to fill airtime. (Like maybe Octomom has another litter or we realize Iran still exists)

But you heard my Curmudgeonly pronouncement loud and clear. Either you believe in freedom of religion and private property…even for dickheads who are doing something so incredibly obnoxious that it’s annoying to live on the same planet as them…or you don’t. We in America, to our immense credit, usually take the high road. Frankly it’s something I’m proud of and it makes us far classier than the highest dreams of any Islamic theocracy. If we could do it without the bullshit I’d be prouder still.

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Hat Tip:  I linked to ABC news for the picture of the dickhead in question.  I encourage you to check it out virtually anything written about this cheesehead and the link has another twist that’ll twist your knickers.  He’s traveling on your dime today.  I’m not sure about linking protocol so I’ll probably be attacked by rabid lawyers for doing it improperly.  I’ll send a postcard from Guantanamo.