Winter is never easy but some are worse than others. Sometimes it’s a mere inconvenience. Sometimes it fights dirty. This winter is a groin kicker.
Take firewood. Firewood is a gamble where you pit your own brawn and brain against the mountain of BTUs needed to heat a house. Do it well and you’ll get summertime exercise, a cheery fire, and a significant amount of savings. Plan badly and you’ll be Jack Londoning your ass into icy misery.
[RANT] Don’t let hippies give you shit about wood smoke either. Wood is among the most ecologically sound of many options. The material is relatively cheap too. Wood is so commonly that it… well… grows on trees. Also for the Tesla fanboys out there, electric heat is a joke. If you heat with electric you’re not too far north of the Mason-Dixon line. Besides, most electricity is just remotely burned coal. [/RANT]
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, the trick with firewood is to use your big monkey brain to avoid overusing your weak monkey muscles. I use all sorts of mechanized force multipliers. Unfortunately, a hearty winter and decrepit machinery are slowly closing out options.
My main system is a nice little wood carrying wagon towed behind my ATV. Love that little wagon! Holds about a half a face cord. A few trips with it each week and all is well. The labor saving is huge! I move wood from a pile to a wagon that’s a few feet away. Then from the wagon to the house that’s a few feet away. It’s the most efficient way to do an incredibly hard job.
Alas, the wagon just plain wore out. You can buy all sorts of ATV trailers and a replacement is on my “to do” list but I’m currently light on funds. (Good ATV trailers are worth the price but they’re not cheap).
Earlier this winter I fell back to plan B. Plan B is a “real” trailer; I use it for on the road towing behind my truck. It’s a smallish trailer (I think it’s 5’x 8′) but it’s bigger than the ATV wagon and that’s a drawback. It takes a much wider track so I need to plow a much bigger path. That’s precisely what I’ve been doing. I have to invest more labor keeping the path open but wasted labor is the nature of sub-optimal solutions. I also have to be careful to only half load the trailer. Otherwise I’ll overwhelm my 20 year old ATV. That said… it works.
Until it doesn’t.
The ATV died. Or rather it keeps failing to engage 4×4. It’s intermittently useless for plowing. Plowing is how I keep the firewood hauling lane open. Plus the ATV is how I tow the wood. The ATV is mission critical and it’s unreliable. This too shall pass but not before spring. Getting an ATV repairman to look at my ATV is a multi-month affair. He’s busy making bank off the snowmobile owners right now. I don’t blame him for his priorities. (As with buying a new trailer, a new ATV would be nice but it’s cost prohibitive.)
I muddled through for a while but finally the wood hauling lane was snowed in. In current conditions no ATV in creation has enough oomph to plow it. That’s how homesteading works. An ATV is not a truck. An old ATV is not a new ATV. Do not dwell on what you wish, accept what is.
Plan Z is to man up and just haul wood by hand. I hate Plan Z! Pick up a great armload of wood, hike it across the driveway, through the house door, through the living room, step on the dog, track snow everywhere, stumble down the stairs, drop the pile in our rack… lather rinse repeat. You can work to exhaustion and it gets nowhere. Compared to a trailer it’s a tiny amount. I did it for a few weeks but I hate it. Nobody wants to get beaten that hard!
A man’s got to know his limitations. In order to haul all the wood I’d need using that level of crude brawn I’d need to the physique (and possibly the dumb brute patience) of a draft horse.
So I created Plan C. I got myself a nice but smallish ice fishing sled and planned a narrow hauling lane.
Ice fishing sleds are plastic but pretty cool. They’re a million times stronger (and somewhat heavier) than a kid’s sled. Ice fishing folks use them to haul 200+ pound loads of ice auger and beer behind a snowmobile or ATV. Some of the more dedicated fishermen just pull the sled on foot or with snowshoes. They do this in blizzards. They do it to kill fish. Think about that when someone in the media is all fluttery about politics from the DC point of view. Politicians who can’t change a car tire are meddling in the lives of people who haul great loads of fish killing shit onto frozen lakes in blizzards for fun.
I carefully chose a smallish sled. The large one would probably weigh too much when fully loaded.
Then I geared up to bust out the snowbound trail. I have a snowblower but I very much prefer to not use it. Plowing with ATV is strenuous but the snowblower is a wrestling match. Also it’s very loud and sometimes sucks up rocks that bind its impeller.
My kid came out to see me futzing with our snowblower in the freezing cold. I’d stored it with an empty tank (on purpose!) so there was the search for a gas can. Then the obligatory flat tires (when it gets real cold unused tires will go flat). This led to wrestling the compressor out of a different building. Then stretching the air hose, which was as flexible as lead pipe.
I clicked on the compressor and promptly tripped the circuit breaker. Sheesh!
The kid assessed the situation and, teenager that he is, decided I was a moron.
“This is a lot of steps.”
“Yes it is. I’m having cascading failures at the moment.” I said this while rummaging in the cold dark barn for a flashlight.
“We should just use the sled without all this stuff.”
OK folks, you’re adults. You can maybe see all sorts of logic to my more sophisticated approach? Should I explain it? Nah, it’s a teenager I’m talking about. Plus, why not let him try?
“Knock yourself out. I’ll keep at this and you haul with the sled.”
Ten minutes later I’d reset the breaker, wrestled an extension cable to a different outlet, fired the compressor up, and was topping off the snowblower’s fuel tank. Another five minutes and the tires were inflated.
Now I had the blower running and it was game on! I roared into the gloom with the great beast hurling snow like a gas powered tornado. I marched slow and steady through waist deep snow while wondering how the kid was doing. He’s a precocious lad. Competitive too. Given the slightest chance, he’ll show you up and make you look like an incompetent dumbass. (I wonder where he got that from?) I half expected him to be standing there with a grin of smug superiority. Ready to report he’d moved six face cords to the house while I was banging my knuckles on the air compressor.
He was nowhere to be found. He couldn’t have muscled hundreds of pounds through deep snow that fast could he? I had a moment of doubt.
Finally, I found him a couple hundred feet away; collapsed in the snow and exhausted; halfway from the woodshed to the house. The loaded sled buried in a 3′ snowdrift near his feet.
I roared up to the prone teenager and very carefully said nothing mean. I’m awesome like that.
“Snow… Deep. This isn’t going to work!” He panted.
I’d known that all along. The sled had at least 60 pounds of payload and he’d wallowed that pig though drifts to almost literal collapse. Brave but stupid. I didn’t say anything discouraging.
“Nice try. You rest and I’ll see how it goes when the snow’s cleared.”
I wrapped the rope around my waste and pulled it through the cleared path. I’d made sure to clear a level path. The sled rode on a half inch of snow over the frozen soil like it was on greased skids.
I trudged around the house and unloaded it. I gave the kid many compliments when he got to his feet and helped again. We did just a few loads with the sled. Each one was many multiples faster and easier than carrying the wood by hand. Not as easy as the wagon… but not too bad either. We moved perhaps half a face cord. A few day’s worth depending on the weather.
Word to the wise, friction is a thing to be managed, not ignored. Pulling a hefty sled in an inch of snow is at least 90% less effort than churning the same load on top of deep drifts. The kid has learned and will remember. Or not.
Thanks to the wood, the house is nice and warm. We’re fine… until, I suppose, the sled breaks.
Exhibit one in the chronicles of why my lawn is half dead in the spring.
Great story! Winter around here will kill ya. Literally.
Interested in this ice fishing sled you have. I might be able to get some work out of my kids that way.
No ATV here. It’s on the list but pretty far down in funding priority. They are useful, but not cheap.
We are using an old Stihl chainsaw and cheap boys axe for splitting. Gets the job done.
Stay warm.
I’m sold on the sled. Get the medium size and clear a path and don’t overload it. I figure I can trudge along with a rope pulling easily 4-5 times as much as I could carry in my arms… and a lot less stress on the back too.
Glad you liked my story.
That’s too damn much snow. Stop ordering more snow.
Ours melted then froze with single-digit highs. Ice everywhere. Walking is a death-defying task.
I heated with (primarily) wood and now realize how lucky I was to have a large enclosed porch that I could fill to the friggin’ ceiling with hand-split oak. Hang in there, AC; only four more months of winter.
Only 4 more months…. ugh.
The worst part is that I had all sorts of “fun” activities planned but my shop just can’t warm up when it’s super cold. All my cool ideas that were supposed to prevent cabin fever are on the back burner.
Did I miss the part about why the wood pile isn’t right next to the house?
Fire. Umpteen zillion cords of wood that’s a supply for anywhere from 1 to 3 years winds up in the woodshed. If it catches fire ‘aint nothin’ gonna’a put it out. It’ll go China Syndrome long before the RFD shows up to watch the foundation fill with ash.
I’ve seen it happen. When I was a kid a neighbor had a manufactured home on a concrete basement. The basement was a garage and also had 10 cords of wood stored in it. He set fire to the wood while welding a muffler. I remember standing the the forest 100 yards away watching that mess go white hot. Very impressive, and a lesson I won’t forget.
We did northern VT for twenty years. Burned wood for most of it, switched to pellets for the last four years, easier but not as fulfilling. We also used a sled to move wood, we had racks on the porch that held a half face, and filled them as needed. Seems to me the fire risk equals common sense.
We have since joined Mr Matis in a climate where the cold won’t kill you, but you might sweat to death while mosquitos suck the life out of you. I have had my share of cold. You are welcome to i
I have been daydreaming of moving to Death Valley.
What is this “snow” of which you speak? I am not familiar with it down here in East Central Florida…
Ouch! Nature has been trying to kill me all year. I can hardly imagine a week when another blizzard doesn’t screw with me. Enjoy your tropical paradise.
Wow! The cold is getting to AC. I expected a reply with a lot more um, bad words.
Tooo cooold. Cannnn’t typppe.
What failed on your smaller trailer? If you still have the axle and wheels it should be easy to weld up a new one (says the guy with 3 welders and a ferrous metals cutoff saw). Sadly I am in Michigan and you are not, though one cannot really tell the difference from that picture. As to the ATV, that one you will have to solve, not my forte but I do like the blood traction sled engine you have on hand, all mine are flown the coop 🙂
With the path cleared, can’t you use the ATV without 4WD to pull the sled?
Not really. You’d think an ATV would do well in 2WD (that’s where it stays most of the summer), but if you add a tiny amount of snow or ice it’s pretty pathetic.
As a guy that uses an ice fishing sled to haul a lot of stuff around, I can tell you that you’re gong to have to work real hard to break yours. Two things you can do to make it a little easier. (a) spray some car wax on the bottom to help it slide. (b) if you can scrounge some wide strap to replace the rope that will help when you are pulling by distributing the weight.
I hope you manage to get the ATV fixed sooner, rather than later and the repair guy doesn’t charge an arm, leg and a torso.
My ATV guy does a good job and honestly an arm/leg/&torso is probably market value for skilled labor around here. I don’t complain though because new ATVs are incredibly expensive and mine is getting a mite old.
I hope that the guy who repairs ATV’s gets to yours sooner, rather than later. To make your ice fishing sled easier to pull with a greater load, you could modify it into a Smitty sled.
I’ve seen a million variants of that design but never heard them called “Smitty”. I always called them “old ski” sleds.
With this weather my shop is froze so I’m stuck with what I can buy rather than what I can build. Spring will come sooner or later… sigh.
Damn, I’m sorry to hear that. Good luck, I’m pulling for you.
No worries. Probably all rural/homestead folks have simlar problems; they just gloss over ’em on blogs and whatnot. Which is a shame because that’s where the funny stories happen.
That’s why I get annoyed with Mother Earth News; they’ll show some gorgeous 3,000 square foot log home with six free range chickens on a spotless lawn. The articles explain how Hipster McInheritance and his wife Bibmi LeTrustfund feed two alpaca using a $20K Kubota. I won’t believe a word from any such magazine until I see a photo of someone shoveling chicken shit in a rainstorm.
You have a Fordson, or an 8N, or something like that, right? Put chains on those rear wheels and use it. I don’t care if it’s a 90hp ATV, 20hp on a tractor weighing two tons will drag more wood.
There’s between 3′ and 4′ of snow. My 2N would get buried and stuck in a heartbeat. The sled is working for now.
To clarify: ‘ is feet and ” is inches, yah?
I had a similar communication problem when I was on tour with Spinal Tap.
I’m beinbet feet!
Yes, I really did mean three to four feet.
“shoveling chicken shit in a rainstorm.” Ac, you shore do have a purty way with words.
“shoveling chicken shit in a rainstorm.” – “which we gravity feed into our composter for our organic lawn Gaia”
“shoveling chicken shit in a rainstorm.” sounds like a rural version of “nailing jelly to a tree” or “herding cats”
Schools/roads/my dentist closed here yet again. No wind, 4 inches of light fluffy stuff. I don’t get it. Has the weenie SJW/whatever infiltrated the National Weather Service? I’d say “snowflakes” have infected the NWS but that is just too, um, pop-culturally cute.
I rose. I shoveled. I nap.
Actually, I knew the ‘ and ” thing and figured you really did mean feet. BTDT.
“sweat to death while mosquitos suck the life out of you”
You can put on another layer but you can’t get more naked; I hear freezing to death is more pleasant than heatstroke. Besides, I detest skeeters. And ticks. Death to all ticks- screw the ecological unintended consequences.
The funny thing is, we have less bugs here than we ever had up north. True some are a lot bigger, but praise Jesus no black flies!
That’s one reason I grew to love deserts. Black flies are the worst! I’d rather face an occasional rattlesnake than friggin’ northern flies.
Pingback: Saturday Links | 357 Magnum