Minor Malaise Slows Me Down

Some people hire guides, others join groups. I learn the hard way.

One the one hand it’s good for ya’. On the other hand, it’s a hassle. I’m tired of fretting over spare parts and ordering stupidly expensive sleeping bags.

I’ve done a million motorcycle trips (always on pavement and staying at hotels). I could ease into it by cruising interstates but camping at parks. In 2023 I bought a bike for just that purpose. But, being me, in 2024 I ignored 2023’s mellow plans. It’s 2024 and I’m doing a different thing.

I’m outfitting “Honey Badger”, my tiny dual sport, as if I expect the Apocalypse. Soon I’ll head to a place as yet unannounced. This trip is definitely beyond my comfort zone… but it’s just a thing I need to do. I’ll be solo. No guide. No traveling companions. No shit.

There’s a thousand details to which I must attend. I fret over a budget which I’m trying to keep low. Logistics must be sorted out. The truck I’m going to use to trailer to the trailhead is a Dodge and therefore needed expensive maintenance (seems like that what it always needs). It’s all very harried.

In the midst of all this I’ve been a bit “off” health wise. I’m fine but it’s slowing me down. When I need my usual 100 watt lightbulb of confidence I’m mustering a 5 watt CFL of “meh”.

To distract myself (and also chill while equipment comes via mail) I’ve  watched plenty of YouTube videos about motocamping. This has been a mixed bag. Some videos are glorious. Others scare me away. It’s definitely a mix of up and down.

Ed Marsh is basically unkillable. He always makes me smile. He’s the only guy that makes a 200cc motorcycle seem “large and confidence inspiring”. Yay Ed!

Itchy Boots is in Africa. Every episode is a spectrum from sublime to just plain uncomfortable. Recently she wound up eating caterpillars in an “Indiana Jones 2” dinner. (I haven’t finished her season 7 so don’t spoil the ending for me.) The point is Itchy Boots is having a super epic adventure but it’s definitely hard work. She also has a superhuman ability to take shit while smiling. I’m not sure I’d be so stoic. Especially the smiling part. In particular, I’d lose it if I needed that many canoe type river ferries! I don’t consider myself even in the same dimension of existence as Itchy Boots.

Motogiant has always had a sort of laid back full fledged American redneck charm. I tuned in hoping to get my mojo back and he lost a fuckin’ leg! Christ on a cracker! Now I’m wanting boots made of titanium. Alas, Robocop boots are not in the budget or plan. Motogiant, who’s awesome, freaked me the hell out.

On the Wyoming BDR a group of dudes selected smaller Dual Sports over larger ADV bikes (which is my approach too) and traveled together. That (traveling as a group) seemed so much safer. Then they lost 2 of 5 riders in just a few hours! Holy shit! This ain’t helping my confidence. (Don’t panic. They were injured enough to head for the ER and abandon the ride, but nothing like Motogiant’s getting a limb ripped off.)

I found a different video of two dudes doing the Colorado BDR. They seemed so chill and philosophical that I relaxed. Then BOOM, broken leg! Holy shit on a stick! Just now I went back to YouTube to get the link for y’all and it’s memory holed. I guess the big algorithm in the sky thinks I can handle the shock.

On the other hand, there are a few sources of unceasingly positive vibes.

Nick Adams has a voice like Bob Ross and an attitude like a Buddhist monk. He and his old MotoGuzzi never ruffle a feather. (I’ve read several Nick Adams books this year.)

Also, Michael of Emporium Outdoors, who was a well established ATV/UTV guy dipped his toe in the water of two wheel camping. Even without his show stealing dog, he posted a relaxed mellow ride. Thank goodness for Nick and Michael! I couldn’t take another video that implies an ER visit!

Hm… the two most “chill” folks are posting out of Canada. Have I learned something?