I went about my day’s errands trying to remember that my shop minefield of 4 traps had a tan mouse needing disposal. When I finally got home I turned on the light and gingerly fished out one trap among three still ready to snap on my finger. It wasn’t tan at all. It was a darkish colored mouse. WTF?
I wish I’d been carefully writing down the mouse colors and counts but alas I’m just too haphazard. That’s on me. Aldo Leopold would have a full notebook with graphs and charts by now. Henry David Thoreau would have written a poem about it. Teddy Roosevelt would have mounted several and sent them off to the Smithsonian. I do notice but don’t pay close enough attention to derive conclusions.
As far as I could tell the little fucker was a brownish mouse in the morning and a darkish one in the evening. How could that be?
That night I turned it over in my head. I came up with an outlandish theory that somehow a brownish mouse had been trapped enough so I could glance it in the morning, but during the day it had wriggled loose and somehow a darkish mouse had got himself caught in the same trap by mid afternoon. I dreamed that night about heroic Rambo brown mouse escaping his almost certain doom and dipshit dark mouse falling headfirst into the trap… which is clearly nonsense.
The next morning I looked at my trap minefield carefully. There is no way in hell there had been a mouse switcharoo. It surprised me how hard part of my mind wanted to stick with my half dreamed mouse switch hypothesis. It was obvious bullshit. Yet some part of me was invested in it.
Regardless, the conclusion was inescapable. During my hurried morning I’d made an observation that was incorrect. In the evening, at leisure, I’d made a contrary observation that was correct. I shrugged my shoulders. Shit happens.
You think that’s the end of the story? It should be. It’s not. Lets veer into a whole new world!
That evening I had an appointment with a guy to buy some IBC containers. (An IBC container is a waist high, somewhat cubical, industrial liquid hauling “tank”. People repurpose them to many uses. I wanted to test the use of one for my firewood. More on that later.)
The guy, who I know and respect, texted me. “I can’t do the IBC container today. I’m sicker than a dog. Missed work for two days.”
I texted back; “That’s fine. Get well and text me when you’re ready.”
I didn’t really want details but he sent them anyway. “I got the flu shot and the Covid booster a few days ago. It feels like my chest has a weight on it and it takes some effort to breathe.”
Jesus! What does a one say to that? I didn’t know how to respond so, being a guy, I didn’t.
A few minutes later another text came in “This isn’t a good pitch for a vaccination but you should get yours anyway. I’ve had the same symptoms before. I’ll be fine in a day or so.”
Great googly moogly!
The guy took an action that has made him feel sick before. Unsurprisingly, it’s making him feel sick again. There is undeniable evidence that the “vaccination” doesn’t provide immunity against future sickness. There’s clear experience that (at least for him) it has caused past sickness and now he’s repeated the experiment with current sickness. Yet he did it anyway. And he’s encouraging me to do the same thing. Why? Presumably whatever motivates him to act this way is such a good idea he thinks it’s in my best interest to copy his actions. Well I assume he’s thinking of my best interests, but then again how do I know? Suppose I get sick just like him, then what? Is that a “good” outcome? I feel fine right now. What’s the logic of approaching someone who feels fine and instructing him to do something that has made yourself ill… twice? It feels kind of cult-like.
I texted back “Thanks”. Then I turned off my phone. The whole thing made me sad.
It was poignant. Remember, this isn’t an idiot I was dealing with. He’s intelligent, well read, friendly, and I like him. If his actions are self destructive that’s his business but what about encouraging other people to follow his lead. Why? This nice guy has willingly taken multiple doses of a thing that made him ill. He, in his intelligent and friendly way, encouraged me to take doses of the thing that made him ill. Presumably if I took his advice I would feel ill too. Is that the goal? How does one react to a world where discussions like that happen?
I thought about my stupid mouse theory. I’d made an observation in the morning but found further evidence that disproved it. The next day I really didn’t like admitting I’d been wrong. Yet I’d been wrong. So I admitted it, adjusted my thinking, and continued on my merry way. It wasn’t that hard but it wasn’t default human behavior. If that was just my goofy theory about mice, what was happening with a much more serious construct in my friend’s head? How hard will he cling to his theory? He’s having trouble breathing… again. Because he took the same action… again. Breathing is a big fucking deal! Repeated interference with breathing wasn’t enough for him to see the pattern and come to a different conclusion. What would it take?
Our minds are a work in progress. We are monkeys with cell phones. Herd animals with 401(k) accounts. We evolved for a world we no longer inhabit. Who knows what internal processes work just fine for picking fruit out of a tree but are deadly in a world where some of us have learned how to lie. And how much worse has it gotten now that since smart people with databases turned social media into a monster? It’s not just one skeevy douchebag lying to one innocent victim; it’s an army of skeevy douchebags creating an entire environment of deception. Our monkey level processing hardware seems to be up to the task of self preservation but only when we’re paying attention. Left on auto-pilot, mass deception exceeds the monkey’s coding. You wind up stuggling to breathe (again!) and encouraging other people to do what’s making your breath labored.
You have to keep on your toes. Nobody can monitor your monkey mind but you. You must practice thinking. Practice with irrelevant shit. Think carefully about small things so you’re ready when big things happen. You don’t have to fret over mice. Choose your own practice ground. What matters is you interact with external forces and learn from them. Don’t just stumble around “feeling good”. Don’t become an idiot; forcing reality to comport with your internal theories. If you’re wrong, fuckin’ figure it out!
Someone injected my friend with a substance that made him feel ill. He volunteered for this. He’s done it before. It made him feel ill before. He encourages me to do the same; presumably so I’ll feel ill too. Then I’ll be just like him. Is that his goal? Does he even have a goal? Was he encouraging me to get the shot that made him sick for no other reason than he was told to do so? Was he just following programming; saying words laid down in the fertile ground of his mind? How pissed off would he be if I tried to reason with him? “Hey friend, lets sit down with a beer and I’ll tell my story about mice…”
Nope. It wouldn’t work and it would be rude on my part. He’s entitled to make his own decisions. I’m not arrogant to think it’s my task to save anyone from themselves. (I wish he’d reciprocate and offer me absolutely no advice about vaccines. But then again how much self-reflection can I expect from a guy literally suffering at his own hand?) All I can do is maintain my dumb little blog. I write stories (this one is true!). I hope most readers “get it”. Folks might come up with conclusions that differ than mine and that’s fine. So long as they’re reasoned conclusions I’m happy. However, I won’t (can’t?) drag folks, kicking and screaming, out of their cage. In fact there’s no cage at all. 2020 might have been a maelstrom of coercion but in 2023 nobody made my friend go get the shot… he drove himself to a facility and had it done for reasons which surely made sense to him.
Next fall maybe I’ll to start taking photos of mice in traps and maintain a proper count. Or maybe I’ll Google Rodentia. Or not. It’s small potatoes in the real scheme of things. I’ve plenty of opportunities to keep my mind sharp. The point is to use the opportunities. Keep your wits keen lest you lemming yourself off a cliff.
Good luck y’all.
A.C.