[Warning, the first few paragraphs went off the rails but I left them anyway. Feel free to fast forward to the horizontal rule below.]
Politics has gone from stupid to cosmically hyper-panicked AND galactically stupid. We all knew it was coming… or that it’s here. But does it have to be so… obviously dumb? Regardless, we shouldn’t let it into our heads.
I’m going to try to avoid bullshit today. I’m going to talk about something totally unrelated; camping gear! It isn’t deep but at least it’s a thing that doesn’t belly flop into the gravity well of impossibility. Seriously, I just have to say this because I can’t hold it in; none of us should be dumb enough to volunteer to get mired in bullshit like what’s happening now. “What is truth”? No sweat Plato, humanity has haggled over this since the first smelly apelike dude drew a mastodon on a cave wall… but we’ll handle it in 2022 as a reaction to Twitter having opposing viewpoints? “It’s all fixed, just fill out a form and the government will tell you what’s true.” Wow!
Who do we hire to know what is true? A lefty Fed of course! The Office of Personnel Management will follow that up by evaluating requests to get into heaven.
It’s a kind of dumb we didn’t used to see. Not long ago, people would be embarrassed to get that flaky. A government bureaucracy to determine which statements are true and which are “disinformation” is dumb on a level with… I don’t know, cutting your dick off or something. Which, now that I think about, has gone from a punchline to a thing schools suggest for children.
What’s next? I suspect the committee to determine how many angels can dance on the head of a pin has already drawn up plans.
Also, I’m sick of the word “misinformation”! The word is “lie” or “false” and for fuck’s sake, no organization can unerringly recognize truth any more than it can recognize beauty. “Trust us, we can only tell truth.” Really? That sounds like a Philip K. Dick plot device. “Smooth move Deckard, you whacked the replicant and are now twisted up about the meaning of humanity… you’re a fuckin’ cyborg aren’t you?” Modern politics has made Philip K. Dick relevant to daily life! The monsters!
People are struggling with concepts normal adults understood long ago. The Department of Misinformation will be followed by the Bureau of the Easter Bunny. People who never stopped being an eight year old shouldn’t be at the adult’s table.
Damn… fell off the wagon there. Sorry.
Well fuck it, I’m not deleting it.
Anyway, I’m on a kick with gasoline / white gas camping gear lately. I didn’t really organize my thoughts so it became a bunch of posts. In lieu of some clever arrangement, here’s the links in reverse order:
- Camping Discussion: WIN!
- Camping Gear Discussion: Photos & Testing
- Camping Gear Discussion: Restoring Old Friends And Buying Their New Counterparts
I just tested out my new Coleman Powerhouse Dual Fuel lantern. (Link goes to Amazon, if you buy from the link I get a haypenny kickback.) Unlike the dual fuel single burner campstove, which appears to be made of unobtanium, the lanterns seem to exist. Though even that is weird. I searched all over, found two and only two in a single brick and mortar store. I bought one and left one for some other lucky person and thought that I had something rare. Alas, I’d have gotten a better deal on Amazon. Whoops!
So what? I spent an extra five bucks, who cares?
Do I like it? I love it!
Do I recommend it? NO!
Unlike stoves, which must burn something to generate enough heat to make your morning coffee, modern pure-electronic lighting options are just so darned good that a lantern is only worth it if you enjoy it for it’s own sake. For most purposes, something made of batteries and LEDs is better for nearly any situation.
I freely admit I bought the lantern, unlike the stove, for illogical and romantic notions. I wanted a lantern like I used to have because they’re a happy memory to me. I’m Gen X, I wanted a hot, burning, hunk of explosive materials. If you’re Gen Z you’re probably thinking I’m nuts. You also probably harbor happy thoughts about your Nintendo Wii. To each his own!
Anyway, I didn’t get a free carrying case like the Amazon link. It kinda’ sucks I didn’t get a case, but then again I don’t like the Coleman cases that much. I’m already stuffing my stove in a coffee can, I’ll figure out something for the lantern in due time.
Lanterns (of these sort) need mantles. It came with a two pack in the box. I’ve got a few spares hanging around somewhere. Mantles are delicate so always have a spare set.
Burning off mantles is the weirdest process. It’s like voodoo, but it works.
The lantern came with a special funnel. So did the stove. I’ve never had a decent funnel. In all my years back in the old days when I used Coleman lanterns and stoves all the time, I was the third or fifth or tenth owner of a rusty old thing. The funnel was long gone. I’d spill gas on everything. The funnel does make a difference. 
Another photo before the mantles are burned off. In case you’re wondering, I was indeed smart enough to tank it up, seal it up and do a leak test, and only then did I dink around with matches burning in the mantles. You just know someone has lit mantles while pouring fuel. They probably burned their eyebrows off.
Fuel lasts longer than it seems to when using propane. I’ve done many pots of coffee on the stove and refueled it a few times as part of the testing process. I wasted half the can trying to revive my old lantern and stove last fall. And now I’ve filled up a bone dry lantern. Yet, I’ve still got plenty left.
If I’d done the same with propane one pound cans I’d have a small pile of them accumulated somewhere. (Actually I do have a pile of 1# propane cans, I use them on my Mr. Heater while hunting or doing other cold weather things.) Anyway this is a genuine “pre-soaring gas prices” can. I’ll mourn it when it’s gone.
And there she is! Once it was lit up like a friggin’ monument to old school camping I just couldn’t stop smiling. For many practical reasons, a battery and LEDs is the far superior way to go. But there’s something more to the universe.
A few people own horses in a world that has the Honda Civic. They don’t think a horse is better than a car, except on a different level it’s vastly superior to sit in a leather saddle on a big smelly animal.
It’s good to enjoy something simply because you like it. I’m sure the Ministry or Truth will declare my statement invalid, but they’re just plain wrong.
