Adaptive Curmudgeon

Camping Gear Discussion: Restoring Old Friends And Buying Their New Counterparts

I haven’t been camping much lately (because the weather is a total mess!) but I’m still optimistic about the summer. Here goes with my newest plans…

Changing Lanterns:

Last October I pondered changing some camping gear. I mentioned it as an aside in Skunked By Grouse: Motorcycle Trip: Part 2: Campsite Mechanic. Here’s what I said:

“I use a little LED area light for camping and it does the job well, but I started thinking about my antique Coleman lantern. If I’m going to get into a groove (rut?) of State Park camping, maybe a brighter light emanating from a delicate device is appropriate? Electronics are super handy and lantern mantles break. But an antique would fit my attitude, not a small concession.”

Pictured is my old Coleman single mantle lantern. It’s over 50 years old. I’m not sure where I acquired it. I think I bought it at a garage sale in Maine three decades ago but who knows?

Sadly, but not unexpectedly, it doesn’t work. This is through no fault of the lantern. I’d neglected it during several decades of prowling deeper and more inaccessible realms of nature. When you’re a zillion miles from nowhere and carried everything there on your back, heavy delicate lanterns aren’t reasonable; you reduce weight or die trying.

Now I’m reverting to earlier and more mellow ways. I’m shifting into car camping (or Dodge camping). I can now afford the weight and hassle of a lantern. If I use it I’ll be getting back in touch with an old friend.

I watched a zillion YouTube tutorials and tore the lantern to pieces (carefully). Then I ordered most of the necessary parts. While waiting for parts delivery, winter hit hard and my shop froze. I postponed the effort. Some things scream for a well ventilated, non-flammable environment that’s not the house. I don’t need the drama of fixing it at the kitchen table.

The lantern has been sitting in pieces in a cardboard box. I will get it done (glances out the window and sees it’s still snowing) but not yet.

Changing Stoves:

I also dug out my old single burner Coleman stove. It’s a Coleman Peak 1 and this bad boy is a trusted friend and companion. (Note: The photo is a random pic from the internet but they all look the same.)

I don’t know how old mine is, I’d guess it’s maybe 38 years old. (Mine is a little dirtier than this one.)

I carried the plucky critter many places and used it very hard. Alas, I neglected it too. A few decades of ultralight camping and the siren song of a JetBoil powered by butane set the plucky device back a bit. I probably last used in around 2005 or so. Unsurprisingly, it’s not working. I didn’t tear it apart because I didn’t want to mix lantern parts with stove parts.

I am 100% confident I can buy parts and fix this stove too. I will. But not yet.

Thinking About The End Of The World:

So that was the plan. I’d fix up a 50 year old lantern and a 38(?) year old stove. That would make a nice two piece ensemble for “car camping”. However, I got to thinking. If the world insists on crawling up it’s own ass, shouldn’t I do more to “prepare”?

In case you haven’t noticed, the whole world has gone to shit since 2019. Regardless of your politics, you see it. Rule of law, supply chains, society itself… it’s all seriously less stable than it was in 2019. It’s dumb to pretend it’s not happening. Waiting for a return to “normal” is a form of denial.

Both the lantern and the stove can be infinitely repaired and parts are available, but they run on white gas. Right now, white gas is readily available. It has been so all my life. It will remain readily available; right until it’s gone or rare.

Back when I used the Peak 1 more or less constantly, there was similar alternative stove that ran on white gas OR unleaded. (That was so long ago they called the stuff you put in some cars “unleaded” and it was to differentiate from “leaded” fuel you put in other cars.)

I did some research and the “dual fuel” devices are still common, liked, and readily available. NOT!

I can find endless videos and reviews of Coleman dual fuel devices but they’re mostly several years old. Coleman itself doesn’t specifically say they’ve stopped making them. Stores don’t specifically say they don’t exist. There’s no announcement by anyone that dual fuel / liquid fueled devices of this sort are “discontinued”… but good luck finding one in real life. Like sanity, they’re not officially “gone” but you can’t find them.

You’re probably laughing at me. You probably think you saw one last week at WalMart. Fine! Whatever. All I’m saying is that I looked and it was a wild goose chase.

My theory is that some lawyer somewhere decided unwashed dipshit deplorables in fly over country shouldn’t be pouring unleaded into camping gear. Not banned in writing but de facto banned in practice. (Admittedly, it’s easier to set your ass on fire with liquid fueled stoves and lanterns than gas powered ones.) My alternate theory is that the profit margin on disposable 1 pound propane bottles is too dang tasty to undercut it with liquid fuel devices?

Don’t believe me? Look around for yourself. You’ll find white gas at any WalMart but everything made by Coleman that’s stocked on the shelf runs on propane. I have nothing against propane. It is convenient and (mostly) idiot proof. In fact, I’ve got several propane burners. But that’s not what I wanted. (Nor am I interested in a two burner “suitcase style” stove which seems strangely more commonly found.) Aside from casual use and my Mr. Heater Buddy I have a desire for non-propane devices.

It became a quest. I wanted to power lighting and cooking off gasoline. I got pretty pissed off about it.

Why? Because I like gasoline!

New Toys:

It’s bullshit that a simple mature technology that had been sitting on shelves my whole life was suddenly gone. Taken away for no reason at all. The McRib of the camping world!

I looked long and hard. I searched in five states and finally found two dual fuel lanterns on a dusty forgotten shelf at the back of a Bass Pro Shop. I bought one. I considered buying both to “flip” one on e-bay but I left it in case there’s a kindred soul out there. I hope it’s found by someone like me who’ll enjoy it.

As far as I know, that’s the last time I’ll see one in a store.

It was even harder to find the stove. (I wanted one burner, not two burners.) It feels like they just aren’t made anymore. If they are, I couldn’t find one in person.

Ominously, there’s a very active market in “refurbished” and “useable” and “antique” variants of this device. A five year old used but good working one burner dual fuel Coleman stove can be sold right now for more than you paid to buy it. (In case you’re wondering, that’s a sign that both society and the economy are in decline.)

I gave up looking in person. I ordered a brand new stove from a third party supplier that was not Coleman. I assume it’s the last of some dwindling supply on a pallet in a warehouse somewhere. The seller I bought from said they had 4(!) left. I don’t know if that’s true. Maybe they’ve got a container ship full of them. YMMV.

It wasn’t cheap, but since they only recently became (“temporarily unavailable”) the premium wasn’t too bad. It was worth it to me.

So Now What:

Eventually I’ll repair both my white gas devices. They’ll be scratched up but function like new. Both will have a personal history. They served me well when I was young, I used them happily when they were new. We were parted but reunite on the other side of life’s bell curve. Given basic maintenance and the continued accessibility of parts and white gas, they should last longer than I live.

I also have two brand new white gas / unleaded devices. If it’s only a temporary thing that they were hard to find they’ll re-appear on shelves. However, it is not a good era to wait for “normal” to return and I feel like I got them just as the sun set on their era. So many things that “always will be” have ended since 2019. The world is giving you the clue! I’m happy to have picked up the two devices just before their unofficial and little noted extinction. Maybe I’m wrong and they’re fully stocked at your local K-Mart.

Not a minor thought is that they’ll run off the same fuel that runs my motorcycle. There is almost nowhere on earth where you can’t get gasoline within a day’s travel. The new devices will probably outlast me too.

I’m pleased with how it’s coming together. I like owning two of everything. I like owning equipment that should outlast me. I like stuff that can be repaired. None of the four devices are plastic wonders that will fail when Microsoft ships its next update.

I’ll enjoy them this summer. Presumably, they’ll still be working when I’m dead. Future owners will either totally ignore them because they’re plugged into the Matrix, or use them heavily as they hunker in a far less advanced future. You’ve heard the joke: “What did socialists use for light before candles? Electricity!”

These are weird times. Don’t deny what your own eyes are telling you. If you want a physical object and it seems fleeting, heed the warning of the last few years. Get it now or be prepared to live without it forever.

A Nod To The Pedantics:

You’re dying to tell me Coleman isn’t the only liquid fuel / unleaded capable game in town. I found many variants of the MSR product line. They were in stock!

Nothing wrong with those. I just wanted the old Coleman style that’s tougher and cruder. The Coleman stove feels solid; like you can wallop a bear with it.

The MSR is functional but I irrationally I prefer the look of the Coleman. My new model 533 and my beloved old 400A are shaped like a lunar lander. They’re literally from the time when humanity could build and operate lunar landers and they feel like a reminder. Even if the MSR is awesome, it looks like a water bottle with a brake line.

You can’t stop the signal: you can buy an off brand knock-off of the Coleman 533 from the internet. I’ve never seen one in person but salute them for trying. Since Coleman abandoned the market, I hope they occupy the void and eat Coleman’s lunch. The only advantage of the Coleman is parts availability. It was only a little bit more to get the real deal and 40+ years of parts floating around can’t hurt.

One last pedantic note. I know that 1 pound propane tanks can be refilled. This changes their economics from ridiculously expensive to quasi-reasonable. Refiling LP tanks is either dangerous and banned or safe and legal depending on who you ask. I will not offer an opinion on this. (So many things in modern times are regulatory “grey areas”. That’s another hint about the evolving nature of what was once called rule of law.) Regardless, refilling an LP gas canister will never be as handy as pouring liquid into a tank and hand pumping.

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