My last series of posts involved springtime 2021 and Curmudgeonly reflections on the Norman invasion of 1066. The set before that involved fictional murdertrout and the memory of a society where wrestling pythons helped sell life insurance.
What’s the common thread? I don’t want to talk about current politics. At least not directly. The glare of absurdly megawatt levels of incompetence mixed with a meaty stew of human sin is simply too much.
Stupidity, in it’s most concentrated form, creates an event horizon of moron. Once a person gets that far up their own ass, no intelligence can escape. Look at a photo of Trudeau. You think this guy has the slightest clue about… anything? I mean just look at him. I wouldn’t trust this meathead to ride a bicycle without getting his dick stuck in the chainguard.
What a tool.
He’s a human Petri dish, a genetically engineered being who oozes a combination of elite asshole and complete moron. I wouldn’t expect that twerp to manage a coffee shop, much less a country. I’ve taken shits with greater gravitas than the manchild that “leads” Canada.
That’s the risk. Ponder stupid people doing stupid things and soon you’re teetering on the edge of their universe of fail. It’s not just a surface layer of dipstick, it’s dumbass all the way down.
Lest one fall into the gravity well of elites busy setting their own balls on fire, it’s wise to look away. Better to think about the battle of Hastings in 1066 or talk to a tree. I could comment on Trudeau’s horse mounted henchmen curb stomping a little old lady in a mobility scooter. But what would I say? Bludgeoning old people is rude? Freezing bank accounts of people who’ve broken no laws is evil? No shit! Doing bad things to people who aren’t breaking laws is indeed the very definition of evil. And dumb. I know that. You know that. Trudeau doesn’t know that but he’s, as already discussed, a fuckin moron.
I could comment on Australia creating genuine concentration camps. I could comment on an American president who’s a vegetable.
But why? Dude’s too out of it to hold a job at a car wash and too out of it to diaper a baby. He can’t do what a bobble headed teenage cheerleader can do at a fundraiser or as a side gig in 9th grade. We could analyze the mush that comes out of the teleprompter he reads but y’all either know this is bullshit or you’re already lost.
Being lost has got to suck, but it’s not my problem. Some folks are so deeply of the bullshit nothing will save them but reality. Sooner or later they’ll begin to starve, or their teeth fall out because society no longer can support dentists, or their bank account just got frozen because something they said on F***book triggered someone’s brother’s uncle’s pet’s daughter and now they’re broke and wondering about this coupon for a free ride in cattle cars. The point is, many people won’t come up for air until something forces the issue and that’s not my problem.
That’s a beef I had with Orwell. He spent a lot of time telling things which everyone not actively deluded already knows. “A boot stamping on a human face forever“… that’s bad, don’t do it. Really? That’s the great reveal? Thanks genius I had no idea. Don’t get me wrong, 1984 had some good points but the basics are only misinterpreted by willful idiots. Willful idiots (particularly the ones who like and enjoy their delusions) aren’t going to learn… they’re fucking deluded. It’s part of the definition.
So… having said I’m trying to avoid modern bullshit… why have I fallen off the wagon? Because it’s too fucking funny.
I’ve watched President Potato bitch about Russia since… since so long ago it was when Biden was sentient. None of this matters one bit because nothing Biden does is wise. An unwise man without accomplishment is a fart in a windstorm compared to Russia. Hell, the dude is doing shit that’s a classic joke: Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
(If you’re fixing to get all pedantic and run to the comments about how the Ukraine is not in Asia… calm your tits. I have a map too.)
Point is, messing with Russia in Russia’s back yard is a bad idea. Doing it when your president looks like this is galactically stupid. I mean just look at this animated meat sculpture:
Going toe to toe with Russia five months after royally fucking up another land war in Asia? Absolute boss level incompetence.
Here’s a photo. Is it Kabul or is it Saigon? Let’s face it, it’s both:
Messing with Russia in winter is so stupid that it’s classic art.
You know what would be better than bitching about Russia and getting dragged into Ukraine? Anything and nothing. I’m a big fan of nothing. If Biden’s handlers could calm the fuck down and simply do absolutely nothing… that would be better than getting involved with Russia and the Ukraine. Get him a puppy… no wait, they tired that. A turtle maybe?
If they chained Biden in the basement with Matlock on a loop tape and ten gallons of ice cream, that would be better than watching Biden get a turbo wedgie from Putin. I mean, who’s going to stop Putin? Would that be our military? Now? They just got yanked from Afghanistan, had the vax mandate rammed up their ass, and they’ve been diversity trained to the point that I’m not sure if they could handle a bar fight against two bikers and a drunk cowboy. Even if our fighting men and women are deeply committed and want nothing more than to kill… it won’t help. They’re doomed to be run by the insane and the massively unaccomplished. People who’ve done nothing cannot lead to anywhere other than their own ass.
What are they going to do against Putin? Tell him their preferred pronouns?
Yeah, I’m sure he’s worried. Look at that guy. He doesn’t tell bullshit stories about teenagers at a pool in Delaware in 1968 because he’s Vladimir Fucking Putin. Biden’s a corrupt, incompetent, geriatric, failure. Putin is the real deal.
So why? Why, after fucking up an election transition, the economy, inflation, the price of gas, Afghanistan, and vax mandates, would Biden’s handlers think “war, with Russia, in winter, in Russia’s backyard… now that’s a good idea!”
Because it worked for one of our other somewhat less than clever leaders. I present to you Chimpy Mc. Hitler. (At least that’s what our unbiased media called him.)
Actually, now that I think about it, Chimpy and the Potato were equally articulate:
George W. Bush was about as popular as a shit sandwich for the first 234 days of his presidency. Then something happened that spiked Bush’s popularity.
See the graph. Green is Biden’s endless freefall superimposed over black, which is George W. Bush’s more or less unimpressive presidency. Do you note a strange anomaly at day 234? A sudden uptick and for a few years Americans could almost grudgingly tolerate the moron they’d elected. What caused that amazing burst of popularity?
What happened that day. Can we remember? What is the smart thing George W. Bush did? It must have been pretty awesome. It got him about 80% popularity for a short time and allowed him to squeak out a second term despite being pretty much the fuck up we all knew he was in the first 233 days.
Did he pass a fiscally responsible budget? Did he bring peace on earth? Did he develop cold fusion? Did he cure cancer?
Nope. America was surprised by the biggest attack since Pearl Harbor.
Bush controlled this like Pompeii controlled the eruption of Vesuvius.
Now, twenty plus years later, the only president less popular than Carter has gleaned from Bush’s clueless faffing about the exact wrong lesson. “If you want to be popular, be there and standing around with your thumb up your ass when shit goes bad so massively that the people rally around you. They’ll prop up your ignorant failing administration and you can have all the ice cream you want.”
It’s not going to work for Biden. It may look like some sort of 5D Chess master “strategery” but it’s the logic of a rooster crowing that thinks it makes the sun rise. I have a response to this particular effort by President FailsAtEverything: That was 20 years ago and we’ve been shit on too many years to fall for patriotism like that again. Every fucking day patriotism has been hammered. Even people who have eagles tattooed on their ass and bleed red, white, and blue stars and stripes have changed their minds. They’ve learned. They love their country but will never rally around President Polident. Nobody will. Winning (hah!) or losing won’t matter for Biden. Times have changed, nobody cares about the Ukraine, and the people are pissed right here, right now. Aside from single women drinking wine while listening to NPR in a room full of cats, gay mimes, and people who benefit from his grift, Biden is without support. He’s toast.
Nobody wants to defend the territorial integrity of the Donbas on behalf of a president who won’t defend the territorial integrity of Texas. Asking them to do it after you’ve gotten the core military supporters fired from their job, kicked off social media, turned their school into a full Marxist madhouse, doubled the price of gasoline, and tanked the economy? One word: Nope.
This is a dumb situation to get ourselves involved in. It’s a dumb reason to do it. Whatever results from our involvement will be dumb. (The same goes for Taiwan if it comes into play.)
If you’re worried about the Ukraine, turn off the TV and forget about it. Everyone knows you don’t fuck with Russia in the winter! Our military is hollow and Putin knows it. So do all the adults in the room. Putin wasn’t going to take shit about NATO (and we agreed not to push it before Biden… you know.. pushed it).
President PopTart is too dumb to see the difference between a surprise attack on Manhattan and a place most Americans can’t find on a map… so he’s throwing a hail Mary pass that will go over like all his other brilliant initiatives.
Repeat after me: Not our circus, not our monkeys. There are things to worry about but this isn’t one of them. If you’re jittery, get a seed catalog and start planning your garden. You never know how far things will go (especially if the fertilizer markets are disrupted and take down some food production with them… yes, that’s a thing). Evil (and Biden) can only destroy but you can do something positive. Tomatoes are better than Twitter posts.
Good luck. I’m rooting for you.