It’s the season of giving and I had a present in mind. It was a present for you (all readers). Alas, it’s delayed. Sorry about that.
Unlike most delayed deliveries, I can’t blame supply chain dumfuckery. It’s all my fault. I’ve been doing other shit with my time. What can I say, I’m a busy guy and apparently unfocused. (If I’m honest with myself, the whole “vaccine mandate” breakdown of social norms did a job on me too. One can do the right thing as they see it and yet still emerge from the challenge beaten and weary.)
Y’all deserve a present. I know you’ve been good (for certain definitions of “good”). I also hear stockings have been hung by chimneys with due diligence, fresh snow is exhibiting high albedo under moonlight conditions, and so forth.
But… there was cool shit to do! I bought a fancy tent and wanted to test it. In order to do this I camped out in a legit, no kidding, blizzard; which was both unwise and yet a success. That’s a story all it’s own. Then, I just had to crack open a bottle of tasty bourbon this weekend. Well, you know the story.
My plan was to launch the next chapter of Attack of the Lesbian Activist Squirrels with 12 posts culminating on December 25th. A sort of squirrely 12 Days of Christmas; with Extreme Greeters and disco instead of sugarplum faeries. Unfortunately, today’s the 13th and it’s not ready. Whoops!
Maybe I’ll get it flying next week. Maybe it’ll be a New Years Day present. I don’t know. The intent is there if not the delivery. Santa specifically told me to get my shit together and if Billy weren’t fictional he’d gladly kick my procrastinating ass. Regardless, about a dozen posts (give or take) are in the pipeline.
Thanks for your patience and Merry Christmas.
A.C.
P.S. If you’ve no idea what I’m talking about, you may want to read my ongoing serialized novel: Attack of the Lesbian Activist Squirrels. Depending on how you measure such things, it’s about 400 pages. If you’ve got a comfy chair and better sense of humor than a woke jackwagon, you’ll love it. It has all the basics; violence, stupidity, a terroristic skunk, a racist bear, the dark secret of Swedish disco, the origins of the DudeBro, fractional reserve K-cups, the death of Rodney “Wet Pant” Slovosfeld, a trans-species raptor, semi-automatic assault style police shotgun revolvers, the explosive ruination of Billy’s Church of Plenty, a mink speedo worn by a creepy poacher, and of course, an examination of the most powerful force on earth… bullshit. It’s free (unless you care to donate) and if you start reading now, you’ll be up to speed by the time I finish typing the next chapter.