“Welcome to your job interview Mr. Curmudgeon.”
“I’d just like to say, you’re lucky to have me here and did you get my salary requirements?”
“Yes, there were many zeroes…”
“Yeah, lets talk about zeroes. You have too many on staff. I don’t work cheap. I’m awesome. You’re not. That’s how it works.”
“Er… Well… OK since this is a position as a lying shitweasel could you walk us how you’d handle a difficult situation?”
“Sure, how about a recent question that your guy, Secretary of State Antony Blinken, screwed up. He can’t handle the level of bullshit needed to navigate the dumpster fire that is Biden. Unlike Blinken, I already knew Biden was a dumpster fire. I knew from day one how this administration would play out. You cheated to put a morally deficient human pantload in the big chair. Cheaters suck at actually playing the game. That’s why they cheat. How can the results surprise you? I knew it a year ago. Through most of 2020 Biden was too chickenshit to leave his house. Dude had less bravery than a pizza delivery boy. Seriously, how did you chose such a bad marionette? You seated a souless, hair sniffing, corrupt, senile, retard. He literally couldn’t manage the job requirements to hold down a job delivering pepperoni pizzas and you gave him the nuclear football? What were you thinking?!? How was Blinken unaware? Have you upped his meds?”
“Biden’s?”
“Not the potato in chief. I don’t want to know what unholy chemistry you’re using to animate that corpse. I’m talking about Blinken. How did he fumble this?”
“Ok, Mr. Curmudgeon, you talk big. Let’s see your response. As a representative of the White House, imagine how you would respond to a simple question from Chris Wallace on Fox News Sunday. Given that virtually every leader in Europe is pissed about the fall of Kabul…’does the president not know what’s going on?‘” (Note: that’s the actual question… does the president not know what’s going on.)
(The Curmudgeon takes a big breath and lets loose…)
“I’m glad you asked that question, you Fox News employed racist sexist Nazi troglodyte. Biden doesn’t have to worry about fuckheads like you because he cheated. He printed more votes than any other human being in history. And there’s not a damn thing you limp little fuckers can do about it. Put that in your Diebold and smoke it bitch!
As to your question, Biden is not only aware of the situation he is the situation. He’s the goddamn matrix. He’s got his eye on the ball, his ear to the ground, his nose to the grindstone, and his head in the game. He totally informed everyone who matters about everything that was going to happen which is all according to plan. He let Kabul fall in 72 hours and let the Taliban have fifty metric shit-tons of valuable weaponry because he wanted to keep half a million guns out of the hands of law abiding American rednecks.
This is all a plan. Biden is playing inverse 3D space-chess and you douchebags aren’t aware of it. Everyone loves Biden. Sure, he can’t draw enough fans to form a bowling league but that’s because he’s so incredibly brilliant that the sheer power of his leadership will burn the flesh right off your bones.
Trump’s a big orange cheese doodle. Sure he can pack stadiums five nights a week, and people are buying flags with his name, even nine months after the election. But that’s irrelevant because he doesn’t have Chinese handlers who’ll fix everything for him.
Biden is the chosen one because the corrupt bastards that ruin everything chose him as the form of the destroyer. He’s a human buzz saw. The world is going to shit only because he wants it to be shit.
He wants every single person in America to suffer through a craptacular economy, internal turmoil, domestic strife, collapsed social norms, a gut shot economy, domestic spying, executive overreach, international failures, expensive gasoline, and inflation. This December, if he hasn’t stroked out yet, he’s going to go to every house on Christmas eve. He’ll take a dump under every Christmas tree before he rapes the cat and steals your kids’ toys to sell on e-bay to buy hookers and blow for Hunter. Why? Because fuck you that’s why!
We haven’t yet lined up everyone to the right of Lenin and shot their ass with guns of happiness but we’re gonna’ do it. And you’ll clap like fucking monkeys when we do! Because you’re balless failures that haven’t accomplished a damn thing in your entire life.
Also, if you step out of line we’re gonna’ kick you off Facebook… and without Facebook who’s going to give you that sweet sweet dopamine you crave? You’ll die if we withhold external validation! You’re trained fuckin seals. You’re fish in a school. Birds in a flock. Biden’s a mental black hole that exceeds the grasp of toadstools like you.
You’ll just have to accept that you suck and he’s awesome and we’re in charge and BAKE ME A FUCKING CAKE!
If you’re not happy, what are ya’ gonna do about it? Do you have fighter jets like we just gave the Taliban? Do you have nukes like the Pakistani government? Do you have America’s economy by the balls like Biden’s handlers in China? NO! You haven’t got shit.
Biden got the most votes because we have a photocopier… pull my finger and embrace the smell!!!!!“
“Oh. My. God. I think I had an orgasm. You’re hired!”
“Just remember, I demand advance payment in gold bullion per syllable and… ” Ring ring. (Answers phone.) “Uh huh. Yeah, I can start tomorrow… Oh them? Don’t sweat it, they’re nobody.”
“Who was that?”
“That was Google, they just hired me as ‘VP of Evil’. I accepted.”
“But what about our position?”
“Assume it and wait. Reality will be along shortly to do the rest. Bye.”
Now that you’ve heard how to properly answer the question, check out 7:30 into this video:
Secretary of State Antony Blinken, takes ninety seconds to fail to answer a question which could have been a simple lie. The Secretary of State just can’t bring himself to say ‘yes, Biden is sentient’… even when it’s not true. That’s a new chapter in the story. It’s another part of the page turner that is “Year 2020: Part 2: The Sequel Nobody Wanted”.
It’s only the eight month and Biden has impressively screwed up every single thing he’s done. It’s not going to get better. He won’t rise to the occasion because he shouldn’t be where he is. He was a plagiarizing nincompoop in college and learned nothing from that episode. He subsequently got caught plagiarizing as a candidate way back in 1987. He couldn’t win an election then, and he couldn’t beat Obama, and nobody believes he beat Trump. Biden’s sole skill was to barnacle his ass to Congress and stay there until the system gave up and dragged him where his rapidly fading formerly mediocre capabilities couldn’t go on merit alone. It will eventually get so obvious that nobody, including housecats, the clinically insane, and kool-aid drinking socialists will be able to avoid understanding the steaming heap we didn’t elect.
Enjoy the show.