If you’re a regular reader you know that in 2020, year of the risk-averse Karenific shitstorm, I bought a little dirtbike. My first dirtbike. At an age when I might be thinking about grandkids and 401(k)s, I saddled up and rode off on a young man’s toy.
Being a novice, I promptly sunk it in a pond. Later I slipped on sand and crashed into a tree. I did that in the same year that vast swaths of humanity were afraid to leave their house. I laughed all the way, for what is life if not a challenge… accept it well, live to the fullest, and have the scars to prove it.
Is it any wonder that I never grokked a society that spent a whole year wailing over risk? Goddamn but what it was painful to watch. (Unlike hitting the tree, which was only painful for a second and probably hilarious to watch.)
Anyway, the Yamaha TW200 is more or less the perfect bike for me… but it needs some tweaking. For one thing, the footpegs are scaled for an elf.
I bought bigger footpegs. You can get cheap ones that are probably fine. I blew nearly $80 on Super Stock IMS. I figure I’m a lard ass and need lard ass tolerances in my motorcycle gear. Plus, how often do you say “I got the good stuff” when buying an $80 vehicle part? (By comparison, with my Mega-Dodge, $80 evaporates any time I drive the thing past a mechanic. If I stop at the mechanic’s shop, the specially programmed Chrysler CPU will hack into my wallet and spend next month’s mortgage payment.)
All hail Yamaha’s ultra cheap TW200!
One other observation, real dirt bike pros stand up on the pegs and use their legs like shock absorbers while they tear through the forest like a banshee. I’m old and mellow and have the same fucked up knees every old person has. I park my ass on the seat and just ride slower. It’s an option rarely considered. I ride alone, ride slow, and stop to smell the flowers. I got nuthin’ to prove to nobody. The machine is just a tool. It’s a horse that runs on gasoline and doesn’t eat hay all winter. You can (and should) use a machine (within its tolerances) in ways appropriate to your needs. Other people win races, I carry a fishing pole. I think I’ve chosen well.
Installation was ridiculously easy. Even a monkey like me could do it. It took a year to get around to it and 15 minutes to do the job. All you need is needle nosed plyers and a few minutes rolling in the dirt under your bike.
Yeah, you’ve guessed it. This means what you think it means. I’ve been running around the forest with my little Yamaha (affectionately named Honey Badger) far from the grid and happily so. So far I’ve had better luck that my rides in 2020. Thus there have been fewer interesting stories of me getting a gravitational beatdown in some random rockpile. Have no fear, I’ll eventually do something stupid. There’s plenty of time for me to make colorful mistakes (and when I do, I will duly report the situation).
A.C.
P.S. I’m looking into hunting and have experimented with fishing from the diminutive TW. So far all the rifle scabbard options have been pretty huge. They’ll work but the scale seems odd. Whatever I buy will have to be from the internet so there’s no “in person” options to see with my own eyes. I’ve had “issues” carrying fishing poles too so there’s a second challenge added to the mix. So far I haven’t committed to a particular solution. I’m leaning toward hard sided in case I crunch it in the dirt but who knows? (I’m not ruling out some redneck solution involving sewer pipe? Or “thinking outside the box” and trying to shoot Bambi with an easily carried pistol?) If y’all have clever ideas about carrying squirrel slayers and fish-o-matics on a tiny bike, please add them to the comments.