My last post listed three instances of unexpectedly weird American elections. Each one resulted in a unique solution. Why? Because an election that fails to secure the will of the people must have a resolution and a good resolution to a unique situation is usually unique itself. Forcing a bad faith situation “suck it up buttercup, we got the power and you don’t” only works for the normal give and take of average events. It fails when applied to big scale problems.
Resolution to Exhibit 1: Dour Nixon “lost” in a sketchy squeaker to photogenic Kennedy. Historians still don’t know who “really” won. The expected path was that Nixon would eat shit. Meanwhile, Kennedy would soar. To the victor go the spoils. (The same solution offered to Trump in 2020.) Nixon was doomed to limp back to California, hang out with his dog Checkers, and grow old while whining about Kennedy’s “unusual luck” in Mayor Daley’s Chicago. Unexpected twist #1: Kennedy wound up dead; assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald, a man so nutty he’d defected to the USSR. (Substitute any grassy knoll theory you want… Kennedy had gotten in under sketchy circumstances and whether it’s fate or chance, he he didn’t last long.) Unexpected twist #2: Eight years after he did or did not get hosed by cheating, Nixon was back. He edged a narrow win over Republican Humphrey in 1968. By 1972, the people had made up their minds. Nixon’s second term campaign utterly vaporized George McGovern. It wasn’t a normal win; McGovern got curb stomped like a butterfly under a jackhammer. The historic 96% of electoral college votes was decisive. No hijinks from Chicago would’ve made any difference. Unexpected twist #3: Not long after beating his competition like a red headed stepchild, Nixon was forced to resign. His controversial behavior is quaintly innocent by modern standards but journalists have had erections about his dénouement ever since.
Resolution to Exhibit 2: Lincoln was elected in a horribly divided country. He did what he said he’d do; maintaining a unified America even at the cost of a devastating war. Unexpected twist #1: Following the war, Lincoln was re-elected in a landslide. The people had spoken; a man who’s disputed election led to war, was now a hero. Unexpected twist #2: An infuriated politically active stage actor shot Lincoln dead.
Resolution to Exhibit 3: On the heels of a bloody civil war and the shock of a bullet in Lincoln’s chest, the weary nation faced another unexpected tragedy. The election of 1876 went full clusterfuck! Democrat Tilden’s lead was sketchy as shit. Republican Hayes appeared to have actually followed the rules. He likely would have won had the vote been proper; which it wasn’t. You can read history and make your own judgement but here’s my analysis. Politicians put “Wag the Dog”, “The Prince”, and “Game of Thrones for Idiots” into a blender. They mixed this bullshit slurry with a gallon of Tequila, two pints of gasoline, and a bucket of dogshit. When it was time for America to drink their shit cocktail it dawned on them that the voters weren’t particularly thirsty. Congress realized the disaster about to happen just in time! Unexpected twist #1: The entire shitstorm was contained and defused by… wait for it… Congress! No kidding! They hammered out a mishmash of ideas called the Compromise of 1877 and everyone involved held back from further shenanigans. I suspect people who’d seen Civil War weren’t as dumb as the hyper-partisan window licking modern counterparts we see today. Men who’d buried friends and relatives wisely rejected the “we’re in power and everyone else can eat shit” approach used by Kennedy in 1960 (and presumably Biden in 2020). Unexpected twist #2: The story of President Rutherford B. Hayes is delightfully boring. An ugly but rational compromise that stopped things before they went from bad to worse. There was no war. There was no assassination. There was no impeachment. Adults were in the room and they averted further stupidity. Inspiring!
What’s all this got to do with the election of 2020? Everything.
Nobody has managed to “fix” the 2020 election. It had one job; obtain the consent of the governed. It failed. Lacking the intelligence to compromise everyone dug their heels in and stuck with the “make the people eat shit and like it” approach. It might have worked for a normal situation or even a mildly weird one; but you cannot bludgeon a black swan event out of existence. It’s here. We all see it. It must be handled in a manner appropriate to what is and not what we’re used to.
It has been eight months:
- If “the losers can eat shit” was going to work; as it did in 1960. It would be taking root by now. It doesn’t seem to be happening.
- If “fuck you… war” was going to happen; as it did in 1860. It would be going hot right about now. It doesn’t seem to be happening.
- If “Congress grew a pair and managed the situation” was going to happen; as it did in 1876. It would have happened, possibly on January 6th, 2021. It hasn’t happened either. (I feel like our Congress would’ve liked to manage the situation but they’re just not as intelligent or pragmatic as Congress in 1876. Probably because they haven’t seen horrors like Gettysburg in recently.)
What happens next? I’ve no fucking idea. You don’t either. Nobody does. It’s a black swan situation because the normal options just aren’t working.
My guess is we’ll finish one audit and then have more audits. It’s a thing that’s not going to stop. Kennedy’s supporters could put the lid on Mayor Daley in one city but Biden’s can’t ignore a multi state record vote count in a nation already jaded.
If audits found everything squeaky clean it would be the best possible option! It would establish “the consent of the governed” and calm the people. Biden wouldn’t look so much like a walking insult to those that voted against him. Trump voters would be mollified and could be safely ignored.
As it’s playing out… I doubt that’ll happen. For one thing, honest and transparent audits can only uncover what actually happened. For another, spoliation and lawfare clearly indicate that Democrats aren’t willing to shore up their solid and clean record breaking win. Lacking a time machine to go back and make November 2020 squeaky clean, I doubt audits will discover a squeaky clean result. Where there’s smoke, there’s a high probability of fire.
I’d love to be proven wrong. If Biden was really as popular as the vote counts say, it would have done him well to lock in the solid proof of clean transparent audits ASAP. The appearance of impropriety is almost as bad as the fact. (Ask Nixon about the crime versus the cover up.) As it stands, even if Biden really won the greatest number of votes in history, everything that’s happened for months looks exactly like cheating.
What comes after the audits? More audits probably. Maybe months and years of audits? The people won’t shut up about it. I’m not sure Stalin could rivet the lid down on this kettle… much less weak and geriatric Biden. The nation is not about to let this Epstein kill himself.
After the audits? Who knows? One party is locked in with “suck it, we have power” and they have so far lacked the ability to adjust. I’m waiting for the first press article that says “yes, the election was a cheat but it was justified because Orange Man Bad“. I figure that’ll be broadcast by August? Autumn at the least? If I’m right I expect a big tip! Regardless, it won’t do a damn thing to release the building pressure.
Nobody yet knows how to remedy the situation after (or if) everyone gives up on “Biden earned a record vote count”. One side is saying Trump can’t be restored because such a thing has never happened before. I’m saying things that never happened before occurred every week in 2020 but I’m not sure a simple reversal will “fix” what was “broken”.
Here’s the funny part. I suspect neither Trump nor Biden knows what’s coming.
Something that hasn’t happened before is about to happen. Well eventually choose the form of something new; Stay-Puft marshmallow man? New election? The Illimani take over? Some sort of political compromise? Free chicken sandwiches? A re-animated Steve Jobs hands out free iPhones? Sasquatch? Fucking UFOs? It’s going to be weird for sure. We’ll know it when we see it.
Unlike the “eat shit and like it” approach that’s failing, this doesn’t have to suck. Bad things can resolve peacefully. The Berlin Wall fell without a shot fired. The Compromise of 1877 really happened. New Coke was phased out. Everyone got together at a ballpark to burn disco records. When things are “wrong” they can be made “right” without burning the place down… but only if it (whatever “it” is) overcomes the human wrecking balls that made the mess in the first place.
Don’t despair. We live in interesting times but it’s not the end. We know that some swans are black. We know that bears still shit in the woods. Doom, chaos, and mayhem are mostly the currency of people who cannot see other options. In other words, idiots. In the end, they’re still just idiots.