Slutburger on the Prowl
Having exited the Arena, Robert’s soon to be ex-girlfriend knew it was a new era. “Woof.” Her life would be bisected by this moment. This was her first moment of AW (after woof) and she was already forgetting the details of BW (before woof). She stood uncertainly, watching the scene in the parking lot. Several dozen folks were beating the hell out of Robert. They kept saying things like “please stop resisting” and “you must comply”. Robert was balled up like a turtle, making little weeping sounds. Presumably they’d be done eventually and then Robert could drive her to her apartment. Then again everyone not actively beating Robert was “searching” the Audi. Several people were stuffing all sorts of things into the Audi and other people were pulling them back out. They were proclaiming loudly the incriminating nature of what everyone had seen planted just five seconds before. It was an increasing spiral. In the few minutes she’d been standing there it had gone from “Ah ha! A little bag of white powder that might be cocaine” to “Oh my God, we just found Jimmy Hoffa’s left testicle”. In another few cycles they’d probably convince themselves they’d found a giraffe in there.
It looked like neither Robert nor the Audi were going to be any use to her for a good long time. She shrugged. That was all BW anyway. She gazed longing at the other side of the parking lot where Janice was surrounded by more law enforcement officers. Someone had handed Janice a towel which he’d tied around his waist in a way that just made the “Woof” even better. A loincloth! What kind of girl can resist such woof-ness? Janice had enlisted the help of a circle of observers and they were all pounding the area that once had the broken bits of Robert’s phone. She wanted to march right over there and get to work… but the circle of men (and some women) pounding a crater in the ground was the wrong place and the wrong time.
She ordered up an Uber and vamoosed. She had things to do.