The Trump / Biden debates hit me with a sledgehammer. One side talked about all the things he’d done in reality and the other talked about all the things that he’d do better in pure imagination. The COVID discussion had been ugly, but the same juxtaposition happened on every topic.
At the end of ninety minutes I was poleaxed. Sure, Trump is a gold-plated asshole. When is he not? He acted like a like a nuclear tornado in a China shop. But he kept talking about things on earth. “I did this, I did that. I tried this other thing but I couldn’t pull it off. This other thing is great.” I can live with that.
Biden had a whole different vibe. “This thing that is bad is caused by Trump. Everything that is bad is related to Trump. I will make it better… somehow… magically nothing bad will happen when I’m in control. I’ll make windmills turn a profit. Nobody will get sick. I’ll arrange the best medicine for you. I’ll fix your life.”
It started to anger me. It was condescending. This is what Biden sounded like to me:
“Don’t worry your pretty little head. You just sit on the couch in pajamas watching Netflix. The adults will care for you.”
I was shocked. I must be missing something? I listened very carefully but it was a repeat theme. Biden was very clear: “The burdens of the world are unpleasant. Vote for me and you can have childlike innocence again. I’ll take care of everything.”
That’s what got to me! I was watching a legitimate contender to the Presidency tell me that being an adult and making my own choices in life was too hard. I was to vote for him and in exchange he’d do everything for me.
I watched clear through the end, but the undercurrent never changed. That’s the pitch. Being an adult is hard. Paying taxes, getting the oil changed on your car, cleaning up when the cat barfs on the rug, it’s all too much. The President can fix that for you. Also, there’s the specter of deeper fears. You could lose your job, you could run out of money, you could get sick, you could die. Biden would fix all that. If Biden’s in charge you have nothing to fear.
What a nightmare! Being an adult is a pain in the ass but I’m a grown man. I’d have it no other way.
When you are a child, you think like a child and reason like one. The whole point of life is to “level up”. As you get older you start to question things based on the real world. “Can Santa really get to all the houses in one night?” You become an adult. You learn to manage your shit and muddle through the best you can. Ideally you gain a greater, more mature, understanding of the world. You see the world for the glorious, complex, deep, vivid, thing that it really is. “Christmas is a time of fellowship and joy, presents are nice but they’re not the point.”
Biden was specifically and carefully appealing to people old enough to vote but still holding on to a lesser version of… well… a lesser version of themselves. He sells to a desire to be coddled. “Do you want to be managed… like a child, or even a pet? Vote for me. You can regress. Just let me take over. Here’s a juice box.”
It wasn’t subtle. It wasn’t an accident. It was a pitch that must appeal to a lot of people.
Fuck that! I poured a stiff drink and glowered. The debates had seriously upset me.
There’s more. What? You think I’d leave the story there? Stay tuned.