So, society is still punching itself in the balls; and today’s a bigger disaster than yesterday? Ho hum. I tune out because nobody sane likes to roll about in mass tantrums. Rather than address the endless shitstorm of 2020, about which y’all have already formed your own opinions, here’s a catch all of shit that amuses me.
A vampire castle? Count me in! I want it now!
If I was anywhere near able to even think about things in this price range, I’d be crawling all over it. Talk about prime real estate!
More in keeping with my price range, a reader sent me the photo below. I doubt it’s locally available but I’m prowling liquor stores just in case. Here’s the link. (Note: I have no financial ties to this company whatsoever.)
Another reader sent this. Clearly I’m not the only one who’s recognized the squirrel threat. (Here’s the link, no mention of Swedish Disco.)
Sea-Monkeys! Ace of Spades started this particular trip down memory lane. The video is somewhat amusing but it takes itself a little too seriously. I’m pretty sure no child, no matter how clueless, actually thought they’d buy some sort of alien species complete with their own civilization out of a comic book.
Good grief; nobody believed it! Or am I underestimating the immense depth of stupid that really exists? Can any mammal manage to walk upright and still be that gullible?
Nope. With all due respect, I call bullshit on “dissapointed kids”. As a young rascal, I sent away for seamonkeys, and I’m telling you, any kid who can address an envelope without putting an eye out know they weren’t like the ad copy. I got my order, raised up some brine shrimp, and was perfectly happy. It just never occurred to me that the ad copy was true. I mean how fuckin’ stupid can ya’ get?
Also the video could lay off the social analysis of a loon who sold weird shit in comic books. The ads were loony, the guy was loony, the shit he sold was weird. You expect depth of reason from such a source? It’s a comic book ad for nearly sentient alien creatures. Loons do shit like that and there’s no need to get your 2020s era panties in a bundle over it.
Also, it wasn’t a ripoff. I loved the little sea monkeys (or brine shrimp, or semi-sentient space aliens) that hatched. I don’t remember how long I had them but I remember it fondly and not with buyer’s remorse.
How Carob Traumatized a Generation. UGH! Carob was entirely disgusting and pretending it was chocolate is probably the dumbest thing anyone tried to do.
I hate the stuff! Once my mom made trail mix with dry dusty granola bits (not the yummy stuff they sell now but the grainlike crap hippies in the 1970’s inexplicably ingested). This was mixed with carob that was “just as good as chocolate but healthier”.
To top off that gastronomic disaster. I was given a can of Tab to wash it down. Is it any wonder I hate the 1970s?
There’s never been a more unnatural and disgusting mix than carob and Tab. Also, in what universe, was that kind of shit “health food”? Have you ever tasted Tab? It’s like sipping battery acid because cane sugar is unnatural. Which just adds to the disappointment of chewing down some dusty carob chips and what tasted like the floor sweepings in an oat mill. That taste is all you need to know. It’s simply obvious that you’re doing something wrong. Wrong I say! Folks might have fed that mess to me but I sure wouldn’t treat my innocent Sea-Monkeys like that! There ought to be limits! I’m just sayin’.
One last note: I dimly remembered that the TV ads had a serious hottie. Looks like that piece of solid gold marketing bullshit was planted solidly in my brain because… yowza!
