Last winter my ATV broke. It’s 20 years old but in OK shape. I depend on it to plow my driveway. During an extremely cold spell the poor little thing crapped out. (In some ways, so did I.)
A forgivable situation. With temperatures hitting -42, pretty much everything, man and machine, is at its limit. The plucky little ATV had done its best.
Hunkered by the fire fretting over the impassible driveway. I came to a realization. I, Curmudgeon himself, could conceivably buy a replacement ATV. What a concept! I don’t generally think like that. The dead but honorable ATV came to me by roundabout means and on the cheap. It’s a treasured asset in a price category I’d never otherwise enjoy. Buying new just never enters my head.
I can’t help it. I’m frugal at a molecular level and ATVs are expensive buggers.
Considering the alien idea that I could go full American and finance anything I wanted; I daydreamed of awesome gasoline burning wheeled entertainment devices. Then, as cabin fever took hold, I discovered The Emporium Outdoors. Suddenly I needed an Argo in the worst way. (The more ridiculous the machine the more I’m attracted to it. Argos straddle the line between ATV and personal tank; crack to a weirdo like me.). I was entranced by a nice Canadian guy and his excellent dog and especially his epic Argo…
Damn! I meant just to have a screenshot to encourage you to visit The Emporium Outdoors. Unfortunately, my screenshot makes it look like I host the video (which is not true at all). Whoops. (I hope this isn’t a faux pas!). Click on the link to go there. It’s wonderful low key fun watching The Emporium Outdoors.
I came close but didn’t make the leap. Fear won over impractical hopes. I’m just plain terrified of payments. Also, my goal was a practical solution to driveway snow, not a new toy. Fun was low on my list of priorities. Isn’t that sad?
(Sigh. Being an adult sucks.)
As the winter wore on (and the guy hired to plow our driveway blew out transmissions and axles) I rejected (in succession) the purchase of ATVs, UTVs, Argos, and eventually even a plow for my truck. (The last thing The Death Wobble Express needs is a quarter ton of stress weighing down the front axle.)
Time passed…
Winter ended and I fixed the little ATV. I had to admit I’d been asking too much of it. If snow gets too deep it lacks the grunt to push the ensuing mountains of snow. Regardless of snow conditions, it’s not a warm machine for bitter weather. It’s always a race to see if I’ll get hypothermia before it freezes up.
I bit the bullet. I bought a heated cab that happens to have a tractor under it. It has a handy feature; it actually starts. Sadly, it came with payments; Lord help me! I couldn’t face another winter without better equipment; fear of frostbite overcame fear of bankruptcy. Life is a conundrum.
As part of this purchase I took my imaginary new ATV / Argo for a walk. I led it out behind the barn, told it about how much fun we’d have together, and put a bullet in it. I can only handle payments on one thing at a time and the tractor burned my options for the immediate future. Being an adult REALLY SUCKS!
Fast forward to this fall. The weather has been aggressively miserable. Plans of sailing, camping, and small game hunting all faded; crushed by dreary rain and cold snow. It just didn’t work out.
This week the sun came out for a few glorious days. It was still cold but at least the scenery wasn’t sodden. It awoke the longing within for a mechanical toy. (Apparently, I hadn’t killed my dreams?)
Tractor payments or not, I needed a fix. I found myself standing in an ATV sales lot; wandering amid terrifyingly cool debit monsters with wheels. Later I started tire kicking a couple of used snowmobiles. What was I doing?!? The LAST damn thing I need is a 15-year-old snowmobile rotting in the backyard! That night I wound up staying up late watching videos of Argos and snowmobiles. There’s no reasoning with the heart. I had it bad!
The next day I was struck with a flash of obvious. Pay attention because this matters:
The best time to go on an adventure is now.
The best equipment to use for your adventure is the equipment you have.
My old ATV had been repaired. It’s well past its prime but it starts. It was a firebreather of its era. Lately, it does nothing but tow my woodsplitter… but I own it. Why not?
Warning ramble:
This summer I’ve watched people tell me wistful stories of the sailboat they’ll get when they retire (or win the lottery). It’s sad really. I’ve left them behind on the dock while I sailed away in my puny handmade plywood sailboat. They talk, I sail.
I’ve seen it even worse with motorcycles; I’ve done many cross country trips and invariably I’ll stop at one town or another where someone tells me about the awesome Harley they’ll have someday. (It’s always a Harley, even among people that can’t recognize that my Honda cruiser is not a Harley.) I nod like I care and in some ways I do. I honestly hope they escape the cage they’ve built for themselves. I doubt they will; people like their cages. I roar away on my mid-priced (and now aged) Honda while they’ll never leave their backyard except in spirit. They talk, I ride.
Sun’s up, it’ll snow again soon. Ride now or be a schmuck waiting for the perfect time that never comes. That’s the question life asks. So, what’s it gonna’ be?
Half an hour later the ATV was perched on my old utility trailer (which no longer has a little sailboat on it). I was happily en route to a trailhead.
I’ve never done recreational ATV trail riding. Time to rectify that mistake.