In my last post I discussed my memories from the strange and distant alternate universe called the 1980’s. This included a few cultural artifacts that are long forgotten. As a service to younger readers (and because it’s important to remember how goddamn weird the world really is) I provide the following “study guide”.
Robert Preston, The Music Man, 1962. This is exactly what it feels like when everyone suddenly picks a single obscure thing and decides it is corrupting society. Robert Preston nailed it!
Time Magazine, June 19, 1972. Frankly I didn’t realize how long the whole Satan thing lasted. I thought it fired up in the early 1980’s. 1972 is a lot earlier than I thought.
Hee Haw (1970’s). As God is my witness, people watched this on TV in the 1970’s and in reruns in the 1980’s.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xv13g44ROaw
Benny Hill, 1980. (NSFW?) This was PRIME-TIME in 1980. I’m not saying TV is any less stupid now, I’m just saying adults were watching this on black and white TVs with antennas in the exact same era when they though immoral heavy metal was leading their teenagers into sin and perdition.
Ow My Balls (Any Day Now). The excellent future documentary used “Ow My Balls” as an example of how low society would degrade in an idiotic future. Go ahead and compare this to Hee Haw.
Dio, Last In Line, 1984. I’ll admit it hasn’t aged well but so what? Also, I don’t give a shit how juvenile the lyrics are… the opening section of the song is brilliant. Dio shamelessly and non-ironically heaps up a 45 second pile of lame ass schmaltz. A happy kid on a bicycle; just like the kids on “Stranger Things“. Then, just when you’re going to puke from all that sugar, Dio immolates every molecule of schmaltz with a 5 second scream that’ll straighten your spine! (Which is something of a parallel to the plotline of Stranger Things.) Imagine a kid trying to explain the whole “juxtaposition of good and evil in both tone and instrumentation” to an adult who’s hyperventilating about Satan! Also, it’s wrong and cruel to expect a hearty young man to subsist on a diet of the Bangles on FM.
One last point. There was a time when MTV (Music TV) played music videos on television. It didn’t last long but it was pretty awesome for a while.
AMC Gremlin, (pictured model is from 1978). What. The. Fuck!?!?
