I was in my truck last week during a time when countless indoctrination centers (euphemistically but unconvincingly referred to as schools) used tax dollars to parade children about as if they were trained monkeys in a socialist circus. America’s Pravda (NPR) gleefully shoved announcements of it up my ass twice hourly.
I was not surprised by the pointless marching but was mightily disappointed to see teenagers actively requesting they be treated like helpless little pets. Stuffing teenagers in a cage is nothing new. We put ‘em there because they’re Tide-pod eating, fidget spinning, Facebook surfing, half beings who can barely wipe their own ass. It is the job of teenagers grow strong and escape into young adulthood (possibly while sneering like James Dean, listening to bad music, and dressing like an idiot). They are meant to prove their completeness by thriving as adults; get a job, buy a car, get laid, move out, make bad choices and bear the results, make good choices and enjoy the results, discover that life is not fair, raise kids of your own, mow the lawn, bitch about taxes, save for retirement, and keep on keepin’ on until you’re dead. Leave the sandbox of childhood and move on; that’s the whole point!
Teenagers are usually imbued with the restless desire to go about the business of being men and women. It’s an atrocity to train it out of them. The “protesters” were whining though the cage bars, “please don’t let me buy a .22 plinker because I’m a drooling imbecile who’s too fucking dumb to handle it”. How are idiots like that ever going to be awesome?
Teenagers marching into a cage is alien and disturbing. When I was younger I recall efforts to remove certain “rights” from young Americans and teenagers did not go lightly into that dark night. Recall when they got serious about stopping tobacco sales to minors? Teenagers aren’t total morons. We all knew smoking was bad for you. Some kids smoked, others didn’t, but NOBODY, not a single goddamn fuckwit mamma’s boy was out there marching around the streets like a brainwashed shitweasel begging the government to stop them from buying the demon tobacco. Later, uptight prohibitionists misused interstate highway funding to force States to raise the drinking age. There wasn’t a single goddamn 19-year-old screaming and carrying signs demanding the terrible burden of self-determination be lifted from their sagging shoulders. “Oh, please massa, don’t let me buy Budweiser at 19. I’m just so damn stupid I can’t handle it. I’m only mommy’s little baby after all.” Whether a kid wanted to wait until they were 21 to legally drink shitty canned beer or not, NOBODY wanted to be told we couldn’t do it. Any kid who was in favor of limiting teenager’s rights was sure to get his ass kicked by teenage boys and the cold shoulder from the young ladies… as it should be.
I don’t really care that kids have opinions about politics. They’re practicing to be adults after all. But they’re kids, they don’t know a fucking thing. “Teachers” and “journalists” pretending to seriously listen to kids are lying. They’re the bastards that trained the barking seal to clap. They’re cackling with glee as the clapping seal affirms what they wanted to hear. They trained the damn sheep to love their cage and that makes thundering herds of Dolores Umbridge clones’ little withered hearts beat pitty pat. They took obnoxious, brash, arrogant, future humans and made them small and weak and docile. The perfect clay to mold a lesser society.
I call bullshit. I can train a parrot to call me handsome but that doesn’t mean I’m handsome. I know that because it’s just a fucking parrot. Even when I keep my dog on a leash it’s only when I have to and only because it’s a fucking dog. I’d no more turn the thumbscrews on real humans, future men and women, than I’d stick my dick in a light socket. And furthermore if I had any role in a century of socialist indoctrination that produced teenagers who will march en masse like poodles in a dog show because they want less rights for themselves I’d hang my head in shame. I’m shocked and deeply saddened to see young Americans angrily complaining that they have certain “rights” and they want them removed. That’s a new and depressing lowering of the bar. Schools should be ashamed of what they’ve become.
Here’s a Curmudgeonly Gem of Insight meant for the marching teenage Facebook zombies:
Teenagers must prepare themselves to handle free will, make choices, and take personal responsibility. Fail at that and they have failed at all. Schools gathering teenagers in herds to demand their rights be forcibly removed infantalizes the weak to feed the politics of the unworthy. It keeps their victims at the kid’s table on Thanksgiving. Turns them into pajama boy for life. Don’t let that happen. The world doesn’t need another dithering nincompoop watching Frozen with the toddlers until they lose steam in their sixth year of pointless college. Nut up and earn a seat at the adult’s table. Don’t march around like your teacher’s plaything! Fuck them! They’re the useful idiots that would be the first up against the wall if they ever got their way (for that matter they have succeeded at it more than once). Wash your hands of their tawdry little mind games, think for yourself, and aim higher.
Fortunately I’ll solve all “dumbass teenager” problems in the next post…
“I’m concerned that I could, if I wanted, buy a .22 plinker. I should be stopped from that!
I’m going to protest in the streets just like my teachers want. I won’t stop until I’m locked in a lecture about intersectionality and fed a Tide-pod.”
“My school bused me to a protest and my teachers told me what to say and I did everything I was told. We were in a big group and it was lots of fun. I like doing exactly what I’m told.”