I recently discovered a blog called Wait But Why. (Warning, huge time sink… lots of great stuff to read! Give yourself time to peruse.)
The author took the time to transcribe the entire second presidential debate. This is one of the shorter posts and funny as hell. (Link here.) Here’s a sample:
Clinton: He’s lying about everything, it’s all on my website, and let’s just be happy that this loose cannon isn’t in charge of the law in this country.
Trump: Because you’d be in jail.
Audience: Oh dayome!
Anderson: We’d like to remind the audience to stop being a piece of shit.
Martha: But really, Hillary—what’s up with the emails you sneaky fuck.
It goes like that through several topics. Hilarious!