Adaptive Curmudgeon

Ambushed By NPR: Part 2

[I dread (and by possibly deserve?) angry responses to today’s rant. What can I say? As the election season poisons the air I had to vent.]

The road was treacherous so I hunkered down at a rural truck stop. Trucks were bailing off the road en masse. No tourists today; just working folks.

What kind of dumbass would be out in this weather?


I observed. Only one sort of of dumbass was out there: men.

Men will do anything for a buck. They were busy doing it.

Two guys in a rental car wore business attire that screamed “salesman”. They’d freeze in minutes if their car stalled. They loaded up with coffee and fearlessly spun back out there. Brave or nuts?

The lot filled up. Kenworths and Macks and a potato chip van. An F150 with firewood. A FedEx truck. My Dodge. All driven by men. We stomped around inspecting tires and scraping ice off turn signals. Everyone bought coffee. The coffee sucked.

A livestock trailer parked next to me. The driver began hauling bales of hay, filling buckets of water, etc… The ice made it difficult.

A road grader pulled up; never a good sign. Road graders are best when the snow is balls deep. The driver was dressed like Nanook of the North. Did his tiny glass cab lack heat? He was smiling. He smelled overtime!

Two snowplows arrived. The drivers topped off bucket sized travel mugs with nasty coffee and left; going my direction! I followed. My paint job took a beating but that’s what trucks are for. They stopped at the county line. I kept driving.

Finally at ease, I clicked on the radio. For this sin I was verbally abused (again!) by NPR. I’d missed several speeches by “Free Shit” Sanders. Now it was a solid hour of “Vagina” Hillary. (“Vote for me because I’m a woman.” Really? I’ve got a dick. Do I get to be Governor?)

She kept coming around to the topic of men. Those slimy bastards tend to earn more than women. Hillary will fix that!

I gritted my teeth. Damn straight we make more! Men are nuts. They’ll do stupid shit to make a buck. In return they tend to get paid more.

Women (on average and with many exceptions) avoid eating shit and taking risks. It’s probably a sign of refinement and maturity but the pay ‘aint so hot.

As knuckle dragging males chase that extra buck, Hillary sees red. Her Royal Omnipotence will “correct” my work ethic. Once all jobs are equal I won’t work so fucking hard. The “all jobs are identical” thing is a phase adults usually overcome. Children think of jobs as interchangeable. Then they get a job and discover they’re infinitely variable. Or they remain unemployable and risk the life of a Community Organizer. A terrible fate; filling out petitions and making bumper stickers until they die alone and angry; leaving behind nothing but unpaid student loans and the stink of futility.

Hillary extolled her glorious imaginary Utopian future. Back in reality I pulled over to piss. (Coffee takes it’s toll.) Imagine standing knee deep in a snowdrift (which is part of your work environment) while a fuckwit at a podium opines about what I ought to get paid. I engaged in crimethink. I ought to get paid as much as I can goddamn well pry out of the market. I get that by working both hard and smart and eating occasional doses of shit. And I take risks. There’s a small chance I’ll wreck or wind up frozen. It’s a mundane thing. I invested in (and use) 4×4. Hillary got a helicopter tour and invented Bosnian sniper fire. A hollow person fills her void.

Where does Hillary’s “magic spreadsheet of justice” hold work environment data? Does “pissing outdoors” and “abominable coffee” go in the formula? Will the Eloi in Hillary’s Ministry of Fairness value my truck in a blizzard like a Segway at a mall? Will considerations, applied in warm offices where the Keurig is never empty, include frostbite and truck stop swill?

Women avoided the blizzard. Men didn’t.  Women can be truckers but none were there. It wasn’t just truckers. The harried salesmen were men. The poor bastard skating hay bales was a man. The two snowplows were driven by men. The hyperventilating FedEx driver was a man. The grader operator (dreaming of overtime and dressed to spend the day in a freezing glass box) was a man.

Men embrace the stupid/brave world of risk. They do it for money. That’s why they get money. Hillary decries being “overpaid” like it’s bad. Men (generally) pursue “well paid” because it ‘aint bad. One method is chasing unequal (i.e. miserable) jobs.

For example: Suppose there’s ditch to be dug through radioactive lizard shit. It’s on an active volcano, in Greenland, with snakes. Offer enough money and someone will give it a shot. That lunatic is often male. Hillary’s won’t convince masses of women to take up lizard shit ditching. Hillary herself won’t show up with a shovel. Why not? Is it Bush’s fault? Is Hillary a victim of sexism? Does Hillary want equal jobs or not? If Hillary isn’t there did the nefarious lizard shit Mafia delete her application? Are skilled freelance female lizard shit shovellers getting shafted?

Only in Hillary’s head. The rest of us know shitty, miserable, dangerous jobs are open to anyone. If you’re dumb enough to compete you might “win” one. They pay a bit more. You’ll work your ass off. Men roll the dice. Women less so. Saint Hillary; who hates men, work, and math… disapproves.

Hillary simply assumes she should be in power; possibly due to divine right or proper genitalia or favorable marriage. Pretty medieval reasons eh? It’s a standard socialist conceit. Socialists don’t crave subservience to another socialist any more than I do. They simply assume they’ll be the boss… all of ’em. No starry eyed product of indoctrination imagines a mandatory 40 year career sweeping floors in a Soviet tractor factory.

Would I like the shoe on the other foot? No. Unlike Hillary I don’t indulge in envy. She earns more than me. Whatever she obtained legally (if there is any) is none of my business. I hope she enjoys her money just as I would. (I hope she goes to jail just as I would if I’d behaved like her. That’s a different matter.)

As a non-Socialist adult I have the maturity to accept people who are different than me and ignore them. I don’t want to bully them. Why would I? I don’t need that crap. I’m a free man. I can skin a buck, run a trot line, and drive a motherfuckin’ truck!

Also she’s depressing. She’s doomed. Doomed even if she becomes president. Men and women are different. That’s a wonderful thing. There’s nothing Hillary can do to remake people into different beings. It’s her unsolvable Achilles heel. She’s not God. Winning an election won’t make her God. She’ll never be God. Not mine anyway.

My stupid quixotic insistence on running around in blizzards is not a sexist thing. Hillary, lacking accomplishment, is mired in zero sum thinking sees nefarious plots which aren’t there. A tendency toward slightly higher wages isn’t a flaw, it’s a carrot. Carrots motivate problem solvers. No matter how much Hillary foams at the mouth, problem solvers make the world better and she does not solve problems. She’d like the dismiss with the carrot and wield a stick. Hillary with a stick is merely a slaver in search of a victim. Another reason Hillary’s doomed. Coercion just can’t compete. Russia was a nightmare and collapsed. Venezuela literally can’t wipe it’s own ass. Sanders wants to run the economy but can’t pay off his Visa. Hillary can’t (or doesn’t) drive a car.

Dismissal of honest work (in anyone) reeks of hubris. Hillary has it in spades. She’s clueless, was hatched in a vat, and lives in a bubble. Her megawatt ego assumes things she can’t do are trivial. Bullshit! Nothin’ is easy. All skills are valuable. Meanwhile she’s literally incapable of handling introductory blue collar jobs. Managing an iced potato chip truck in the hinterland exceeds her skillset.

Remember that as the election proceeds: Hillary (and the rest of them) are not qualified to drive a potato chip truck. In November millions of us will turn the government over to someone who can’t deliver Fritos. The best we can hope is whomever gets elected knows their limitations. Hillary can’t do anything and therefore all jobs are the same to her; yet she’d gladly tweak the wage market and fuck up the Frito supply!.

Eventually her two minutes of hate ended. It was all sour grapes anyway. She’s a loser but the world isn’t interested in losers. Even if she wins (shudder!) she has failure within. Braying she wants a world where idiots take harder jobs for “equal” pay won’t make it happen. Nothing will make that happen. Theorizing that men and women are identical passionless worker bee widgets won’t make that true either.

Hopefully America comes to it’s senses before The Hillary gets elected and starts breaking things. I like a civilization that delivers FedEx and Fritos regardless of blizzards. But there have been dark times before and some light always shines for those who see it. You’ll know the socialists won if ten years hence I’m smuggling toilet paper while NPR blathers about “unexpected” and “temporary” shortages due to “hoarding”. (And if that happens I’ll try to be the best damn toilet paper smuggler there ever was… because some guys can’t help themselves. They see problems as merely interesting things to be solved and hopefully a chance to make a buck.)

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