Adaptive Curmudgeon

Cavalry Pony

I cringe in terror as I post this:

“FORT HOOD, Texas — Army 1st Lt. Gina Caffey, the first woman selected to attend the Maneuver Captain’s Career course in Fort Benning, Ga., is mere days away from being crushed when she discovers the tragic lack of ponies the modern Cavalry Branch offers to its female officers, sources say…”


The link which, in case you’re a total moron and haven’t figured it out yet, is satire. It was sent to me by a good friend. It led to this conversation:

Friend: “Hey A.C. I sent you a link. You’ve totally got to post it.”

Me: “Sure, I’m always up for…” click click click… “ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!?”

Friend: “It’s hilarious.”

Me: “It’s got a pony. Do you have any idea how uptight the pony people are? I’ll be getting death threats in glittery font.”

Friend: “Oh c’mon.”

Me: “This is 2016, if I do anything other than genuflect at women in military combat I’m going to have to bake a gay wedding cake or something.”

Friend: “But it’s satire.”

Me: “Hillary Clinton will drone strike my server. The drone will probably be painted pink.”

Friend: “Satire.”

Me: “Fine, but if I get a bunch of nasty comments from people of indiscriminate gender who couldn’t pass boot camp but spend hours bitching about it…”

Friend: “Wimp.”

Me: “Sigh… here goes.”

 

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