Adaptive Curmudgeon

Totally True Facts

  1. A blogger without Internet access is a truck driver equipped with a mule.
  2. I drove to a yuppie coffee shop (i.e. enemy territory) specifically for WiFi only to discover that their WiFi was down and the coffee I make in my kitchen is better than the sputum of Satan which they somehow manage to foist on their customers.  (In all fairness the bar is set pretty high.  I don’t cook much of anything but I make rockin’ coffee.)  When I asked the drone at the counter if their WiFi was malfunctioning she fixed me with a stare akin to when I explain physics to a Labrador Retriever.  Further when I said, “I don’t mind the ‘net is down because I came here specifically to enjoy this putrid $4 coffee” she did not recognize it as sarcasm.  (I can only assume putrid is a word she had never heard?  Actually I’d feel better if I knew she was stoned.  If you’re stupid while stoned there’s always the possibility you’ll brighten up after a good night’s sleep.)
  3. I’m convinced the reason for #2 is that hipster ironic glasses that people wear to express their individualism by pretending they’re Elvis Costello cause brain cancer.
  4. It has been snowing two out of the last two days.  Which is 100% more than it should be snowing.
  5. I have no idea when this will be posted.  Luckily it’s a blog and not a nuclear reactor.  I can ignore it for a while.  Carry on without me!
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