Adaptive Curmudgeon

Internal Inconsistencies Of Life Which I will Not Abide: Part II

Here, in no particular order, is a list of more “concepts which piss me off” (TM).

  1. Being called a racist by someone who is a racist:  I’ll often spend all day in the presence of my dog and wood splitter only to have some professional victim on the news declare that on that very day I and everyone like me was a racist, bigoted, moron.  How?  If you know nothing about me except my race you pretty much don’t know shit. I refuse to believe that I’m racist when chowderheads like Al Sharpton walk the earth.  He can’t eat his breakfast without foaming at the mouth and he’s part of the “discussion” that will lead to a “solution” and eventually “healing”  Really?
  2. More racism:  Can we please dispense with the concept that if you’re a “minority” you’re instantly issued a halo and if you’re not you come with horns and a pitchfork.  Also can we drop the fallacy that if you’re white your granddaddy automatically owned a plantation in 1830 which somehow paid for your Subaru in 2013?
  3. Minority as a word of art:  As demographics change, folks skate ever further into the stupid zone using “minority” in a way that makes no sense.  Minority is a math term.  It means less than the majority and nothing more.  If I’m a white guy and I’m in a room with 37 women and 3 guys then in that room I’m a minority.  If I’m in a room in France then Americans are the minority.  If they’re all black except me, then I’m still in the minority.  If they hate me just because of my appearance then they’re racist.  If they hate me because of my personality then maybe they’re fully justified or maybe they’re dickheads… math can’t answer everything.
  4. High count prosecutions: Ever hear following; “The defendant was charged with 250 counts of being evil, 10 counts of super extra bad murder, and 4 counts of littering.  He was cleared on 263 counts but was found guilt on one count of littering.  He was fined $500 and kicked in the nuts by the bailiff.”  Really?  There’s a word for someone who’s had 50 charges leveled at them and beat 49; that word is innocent.  (Or at least “guilty with insufficient evidence to convict”, which in American law is supposed to equal “innocent”.)   Judges who let this shit fly are a pox on our world.  Juries that eat this shit need to shovel it back down the prosecution’s throat.
  5. Diversity as a surrogate for quality:  I’m all for human diversity in the overall scheme of life but I wish they’d give it a rest when I’m just trying to get a job done.  When I bring my truck to the garage I don’t really care if you’ve got a full range of the human experience on staff.  Neither me nor my transmission care if the overdrive was tuned by a Lebanese transgendered Buddhist, an inner city black kid, or an illiterate redneck asshole.  I only care whether it’ll crap out on a mountain pass.
  6. Diversity as a code for uniformity:  Diversity is supposed to mean the whole range of human experiences.  So why is it that a I can walk into a “diversity laden” coffee shop and be the only guy there that has ever been hunting, paid taxes, or fixed a radiator.  What are the odds?  Conversely, if ten people all dress like Elvis Costello is it no longer ironic and simply sad?
  7. Tax deduction math:  If I can take the mortgage interest deduction and get ten grand back from the government on April 15th that’s fine with me.  You know what’s also fine with me?  Not paying the ten grand in the first place.  There is a significant population that’s so brainwashed they think they’re getting an awesome deal with the deduction and I’m getting hosed not paying in the first place.  Not surprisingly all real estate agents have this illogic baked into their DNA.
  8. State radio:  The only radio station I am guaranteed to receive everywhere is National Public Radio.  I know what they’ll say on any subject before they open their shrill mouths to spout surprisingly uniform platitudes.  I understand the function of Pravda in Soviet Russia.  I understand the function of American state radio in Bulgaria during the cold war.  Why is NPR still running  in the homeland during 2013 and why is a tax supported entity perpetually dry humping one of two parties?
  9. Tax deduction manipulation:  It’s groovy cool to spend money on solar panels and college tuition.  It’s equally awesome to spend money on hookers and beer.  Social manipulation through the tax code is a bad idea.
  10. Moral Relativism:  Some things are simply wrong.  It’s common to over think in an attempt to justify doing what you want to do anyway.  I don’t buy it.  Deep inside we all know better.
  11. TSA:  Does any sane person think the Transportation Security Administration is a good thing?  Knowing the TSA will be burning tax dollars doing perv scans, stealing baby bottles, and X-raying shoes every time I fly for the rest of my life totally depresses me.
  12. The political ends that justify the means:  If the guy in your political party wants to aggregate power but only to do something ultra-awesome that will save orphan kittens and give flags to the poor.  Don’t do it.  Sooner or later the douchebags on the other side will get their hands on the weapon you just made.  Neither party has a clean conscience on this one.  Quit it!
  13. Government budget / tax cuts:  If a budget this year is X and next year it’s even one dollar more, then the budget was not cut.  If tax collections this year are Y and the next year it’s even one dollar more, then taxes did not go down.  Every single word spoken otherwise should be met with a knee to the groin.
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