Category Archives: Lesbian Squirrels

Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 02: The Church Of Awesome

Billy stood before the big glass doors and smiled. It was an all-night convenience store. It was devoid of customers, except Billy. It was all for him! He took a step forward and the doors opened noiselessly. Merely a matter … Continue reading

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Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 01: Night At the Convenience Store

Achmed Hussein Muhammad adjusted his cheap polyester uniform and took a deep breath. He needed this. Grievance Studies was a surprisingly difficult major. There was just so much bullshit to learn. Every “fact” was contradicted by some other “fact” and … Continue reading

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Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 00: Squirrel Week Begins Now

In case you were afraid I’d started taking life seriously (as if!), put that concern out of your head right now. I hereby declare this week will be exclusively squirrels. The next several posts will explore the Church of Awesome, … Continue reading

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Boo Saves The World: Part 04: The Moron Whisperer

Boo’s life improved immeasurably with the arrival of the TV remote. Not because it controlled a TV so much as it controlled a human. Boo decided what he wanted Kandi to do and issued instructions through electronics tied to the … Continue reading

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Boo Saves The World: Part 03: The Birth Of Man

Kandi and four friends were jumping up and down screeching at the screen. They made high pitched whines, lower grunts, and mid-range shouts. Their sounds didn’t resolve into words or sentences. They jumped a lot. Boo watched from his vantage … Continue reading

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Boo Saves The World: Part 02: A Lifeline Is Acquired

Kandi wasn’t looking great when morning came. She’d been drunk long before she dropped the bottle and Boo initiated his plan. Thus, she’d gone further into Planet Alcohol than usual. She was wandering around in dirty pink fuzzy slippers. Her … Continue reading

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Boo Saves The World: Part 01: Boo Crosses The Rubicon

At 12:06 am, Kandi, an unemployable anthropology major with little brain and less desire to use it, dropped a nearly finished plastic bottle of Captain Morgan. Boo, her dog, bucking generations of genetic conditioning for loyalty, surreptitiously made off with … Continue reading

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2001 A Space Odyssey: Dawn Of Man

This video was captured in a living room in Portland. Squirrels were involved. All will be explained in due time.

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Road To Portland: Part 29: Best Day Ever

Upstairs in his apartment Janice was writing in her journal: 09:45 Buy a new cat. Ali the cat was perched out of reach on top of the refrigerator. He beamed with joy. He stretched and flexed his claws. Then he … Continue reading

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Road To Portland: Part 28: You Go First

“That’s the third blender this week!” Cop #1 was keeping a list of things the unhinged Janice hurled from his apartment. “Broken window, shit flying out of it. That’s probable cause enough to knock on the door.” Said cop #2. … Continue reading

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