The pigs are ready for butchering. Actually it’s past due. I can always put it off one more day and that’s what I’ve been doing. The pigs like this arrangement.
(Now I’m fretting that I haven’t enough freezer space and I should have pre-sold a couple of ’em. I know; “first world problem” right? Well when the zombie apocalypse comes I’ll have bacon with my breakfast no matter what. I’m taking appropriate action to insure this. You should too. Pigs and chickens; it’s a system dammit!)
At any rate I’m wondering if anyone is interested in trading? I’ve got pork. You know what pork is. Unquestionably, my quality is better than whatever you bought at the grocery store. Amounts and cuts can be adjusted according to offers or maybe cash can balance out uneven trades. It’s barter dammit; nothing is impossible!
I’d consider whatever you’ve got in excess for what I’ve raised in excess. It could be small and silly (a can of Billy Beer for some breakfast sausage) or large and serious (an old generator, homebrew, that kayak you never use, some tool I can’t live without, the ring of power, a Senator, the steamshovel your wife wants moved out of the yard, HAM radio junk, anything that’ll take a 6.2 Chevy engine, membership in the Illuminati, etc…).
Look at what you’ve got lying around and ask if you’d rather have ham.
If not stuff then maybe you’ve got a service to trade? (I didn’t say that kind of service! Get yer’ head out of the gutter!) I’m looking for a wooden boat repair guy and a Raspberry Pi hobbyist but I’ll consider anything. That said, if you’re a phlebotomist who speaks Latin and plays the sousaphone it’s going to be a hard sell.
If you’ve got a proposal, hit the comments. You know me by now, no idea is too goofy. The worst I can say is “no”. (If you want to communicate private information like your e-mail address drop me a line via e-mail.) We can have a quiet non-blogged parley between you, me, and the NSA.
Maybe something will work out. Maybe not. At the very least, it’s a nice idea. (Where else but on some homesteader’s blog can you could propose turning an old tractor snowplow into a mess o’ pork chops?)
As always I’ll happily deliver anywhere a Dodge can go for gas money and enough cash / trade that I’m not being an idiot. Also I travel all over. With a little advance planning I might wrap delivery into my other shenanigans. Roadtrip! Also I’ve FedExed pork and it worked flawlessly.
I’m just throwing it out there because the world is unusual and who knows what could happen? Maybe someone somewhere is wishing they could trade an old Woodmizer for a full freezer. Why shouldn’t I make their day?
P.S. #1: I don’t actually want Billy Beer; the sudsy equivalent of the AMC Gremlin. That was just a goofy example.
P.S. #2: If you’re the salmon guy. (You know who you are.) I still owe ya’ if you want a pound of bacony joy. A Curmudgeon is always happy to repay kindness.