Monthly Archives: August 2013

“I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.” The tree blathered.

“You’re nuts in iambic pentameter?” I fumed. Trees don’t read Shakespeare. Hell, most Americans can’t read Shakespeare. I was losing it. Continue reading →

I’m pretty sure the closest a normal human being gets to personally owning a fighting robot is a tracked skid steer. It’s good to be alive. Continue reading →

Just like an evil banker, we remove solid support until the whole thing is irreparably out of balance and it comes crashing down; exactly where we want it to go. If we do it right we get to feel smug and superior; also like an evil banker. Continue reading →

Recently I went to two rural country fairs. You can learn a lot about America at a county fair. Here, in no particular order, are random observations: I expected to see herds of mutant whack jobs in the style of … Continue reading →

Recently I went to two rural country fairs in two adjacent counties. Both fairs were similar in size but they were in very different venues. One was in a town that’s poor, very rural, and the county itself is sparsely … Continue reading →

I’m a patron of the bacon! Continue reading →

Back in the stone age I had a newspaper route.  This was back when it was considered a good thing for youths to work. One effect of my righteous, underpaid, non-minimum wage, child labor paper route was that I read … Continue reading →

I have obtained photographic evidence that Pony conventions exist.  (In case you thought they were a figment of my fevered imagination.)  I blurred the photos because… well mostly because I found the “pixellate” button my my photo software. I enlisted … Continue reading →

“Leather clad bikers… Rainbow sparkly ponies…” A juxtaposition formed and took a dump in my skull. “Aaacckk! You’re not helping!” Continue reading →

Watch out for pretentious yahoos trying to make you into a human being. First of all there is the implied assumption that the prospective student isn’t yet a self realized individual. Who wants to service an ego so inflated that it considers would be apprentices nothing more than a mass of unformed dingbats? Second, unless you’re an utter moron you already know how to read. Finally, if you take on five digits of debt to learn to “say how you feel” you should emerge with a notepad full of euphemisms for “screwed”. Continue reading →