Monthly Archives: January 2013

I set down my beer and bellow at the TV. “The United States military does not have the authority to hire or fire any sheriff in any state! The military is not in charge nor does it control the goddamn domestic civilian civil authority. It can’t fire a Federal Marshal, it can’t fire a State Sheriff, and it can’t fire a town’s Mayor.” The dog eyes me nervously but I’m not done yet. “The military is equipped to nuke Peru but domestically it cannot so much as fire the night janitor at Wal-Mart!” Continue reading →

Then, somehow the universe changed. I was suddenly a dad. Inexplicably children became awesome. Well not all kids. My kids are delightful. Yours should stay the hell off my lawn. Continue reading →

I woke up feeling evil because morning. The day got modestly brighter when I got to my favorite coffee shop because caffeine. Then it turned sentimental because kid. Continue reading →

One last thing, as you read the syllabus you’ll note a lot of killing. This book club isn’t for pansies and we’re not a bunch of chickenshits bound my some sort of Trekkie prime directive. Get out there and rock things. I’m just sayin’. Continue reading →

… this is a experiential book club. We will prove that we have learned from and embraced the book by engaging in an activity that displays the spirit of the book. It will be expensive and some of you will die. Continue reading →

Despite my arguments to the contrary, the executive household steering committee has chosen to retain the indoor cat in its current position. I suppose I should be relieved that the executive household steering committee has chosen to retain me in … Continue reading →

The TV loomed. Actually I hate TV. What loomed was the thought of a future discussion with Mrs. Curmudgeon. “You shot a hole in it!?!” She’d scream. I’d hold up a dead chipmunk. “Do you have any idea how much a TV costs?” She’d continue. Continue reading →

I forced myself back on track again. “Seek the intruder, kill it, then drink beer.” Mission statement fully articulated, I stormed into the basement. Continue reading →

The chipmunk flitted into the crawlspace and disappeared. The cat lost interest again. The human began cursing. That guy sure had an elaborate vocabulary. The cat immediately went to her box to take a big smelly dump which the human would eventually have to clean up. Being a cat rocks. Continue reading →